Page 45 of Rush

How I managed to get home without going inside of one was a goddamn miracle.

Did I stop outside a pub and stare at it for a good five minutes?

Yes.

Did I go in?

No.

And, for that, I deserve a fucking medal.

I wanted to go inside so bad. It would have been so easy.

But I didn’t give in to the urge, and that’s what counts.

Instead, I walked away and speed-walked home. The second I got inside my apartment, I stripped off my clothes and changed into a sports bra and shorts. Pushed my coffee table up to the wall and turned on my music.

I must have been listening to NSYNC the last time I’d had my iPod on, so I left it playing. Can’t beat a bit of old-school boy band to do old-fashioned exercise to. Sit-ups. Push-ups. Jumping jacks. Anything to burn off my anger. And it’s slowly working.

My heart is pumping. I’m sweating. Getting that anger right out of my veins and mind.

I start jogging a circuit around my apartment, singing along with the music.

I probably look like a crazy person right now. But I’m doing the best I can.

I’m not used to dealing with emotions. In the past, whenever I felt something I couldn’t handle, I would drink, and then it would disappear.

It’s like learning how to handle my emotions without a crutch all over again.

But I did it.

I’m doing it.

“Bye Bye Bye” comes to an end, and “It’s Gonna Be Me” starts to play. I chuckle to myself, thinking of the It’s Gonna Be May memes.

God, I’m sad.

I start singing along when I hear what I think is a knock on my front door.

I stop and tilt my head in that direction, wondering if I actually heard it or not.

Yep, I did because it comes again but harder this time.

Must be one of my neighbors. I hope they’re not coming to complain about the music.

I go over and turn the sound down. Then, I pad over, barefoot, to the door.

Reaching up on my tiptoes, I check the peephole.

I suck in a surprised breath when I see who’s standing outside my door.

Ares.

How the hell did he get in my building? You have to be buzzed in. And what is he doing here? Probably come to have a go at me and get in the last word.

Well, he can just piss right off.

I step away from the door, having no intention of opening it.