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“I’d like that.” Delilah toyed with the hem of her jacket. “I know it’s dangerous, but right now, I wish we could see our home again. We may not have a home to go to if Telazhar brings the war to our city.”
“I want to see home, too.” Why, oh why, did I have the feeling we were making our good-byes? True, Otherworld would be there, even if Telazhar razed the land. But if war came to our home, if war came to our city… then our childhood memories would fade in the ashes.
Camille gave me a bleak look. “I think Trillian still plans on going to the Shadow Lands to look for Darynal. I want to go with him, but I can’t. I know I’m needed here. But if he goes…” She fell silent and we all knew the end of that sentence.
Carter stood, hands on his hips. “These are dark times, yes. But this is why you must fight against them. I have watched centuries of human history go by. I have watched countries rise and fall. And during every great unrest one thing held true: Those who survived always looked to their victories and not their losses. They focused on winning, not on defeat. If you ever expect to make it through the coming fray, you have to do this. And I know you can.”
We stared at him. Camille was the first to laugh. “Okay already. I hate it when you’re right. But you are. We will pick up, and go on. We did get rid of Lowestar; that’s a major victory.”
“And his slaving operation. And we rescued not only Violet, but five others,” I chimed in. My natural inclination to pessimism had to go by the wayside, if for nothing more than rallying my sisters.
Delilah shrugged. “Seven, if you count Sealy and Grynald.”
Smoky pulled Camille onto his lap, his hair trailing around her like gentle fern fronds. “Don’t forget—we all survived. None of us died.”
That was best of all. And with that, we headed for home. There was nothing more we could do here tonight except speculate on what was going to happen with Suvika, and somehow, that thought didn’t seem all too appealing.
As we trudged to the cars, a break in the clouds allowed the light from a single star to shimmer down. I stared at it, thinking about how much it had seen, and how much time had passed since the light first started to travel. A star’s lifetime—how long was that?
Not understanding where my mind was going with this, I got in the car and leaned against the back of the seat, just letting my thoughts wander. Sometimes, not thinking was the best medicine of all.
Chapter 20
Nerissa was waiting up for me, as were Trillian and Roz. We told them what had gone down, and now we all sat around the table, just staring at one another.
“A little shell-shocked, I’d say.” Hanna bustled over, in her nightgown again. She put a pot of tea on the table. Trillian brought the teacups for her, and Vanzir handed Delilah some milk. I declined the offered blood, but it felt so good to just lean back in a chair, around our table, where the sounds of everyday life were going on. Maggie had woken up and she was sitting on Smoky’s lap.
The rest of us were back to reeking—Tanne’s spell had worn off before we dropped him off at his house. Hanna sniffed, and a scowl crossed her face.
“Where in Hel’s great world have you been? You all smell like an outhouse. Except Master Smoky.” She grinned at him. She’d finally gotten over her fear of the dragon.
“We might as well have been in an outhouse,” I grumbled. “Hanna, we’re all tired and worn out and a little bit confused by this evening. Don’t mind us. We aren’t meaning to stink up the kitchen. And we don’t mean to be grumpy to you.”
She pshawed away my apology. “Girl, you don’t have to apologize for anything. I’ve lived with monsters before. You? You… you all have become my family.” Her eyes crinkled as she spoke, and that in itself was enough to reduce Camille and Delilah to tears.
“We love you, too, Hanna. We love you, too.” Roz slid his arm around her, and for the first time in front of the rest of us, he kissed her soundly on the lips. She rested her head on his shoulder—the staunch Northwoman had a tender side and we knew it. We also knew they’d never be any more than good friends with benefits, but sometimes that was the best you could hope for, and far better than the other options.
Finally, with nothing more to say, I pulled away and, after a tired good night to the others, headed downstairs with Nerissa. I stood under the shower for twenty minutes, scrubbing the stench off me. It was still early, around midnight, but it felt like it was reaching toward dawn.
As I came out of the shower, Nerissa was there, holding a towel for me. She dried me off, then tucked me into a velour robe and guided me to the bed. I propped myself up against the headboard and she curled up next to me, her head in my lap. I stroked her hair, smoothing the tangled tawny locks.
“I meant what I said, you know. I don’t mean to ignore you, but I obviously do and I want to change that.”
She glanced up at me, her eyes deep and rich in the glow of the lamplight. “I suppose we still have to find our rhythm. But I love you—and I know you love me. And while love isn’t enough, we’re talking, and that’s the most important thing. I had no idea you were so afraid that letting down your guard would open you up to your predator.”
I ducked my head. “Neither did I. I had no clue I was building walls between us.”
A beat. Then, “Do you love Roman? I know you can fully be yourself with him.” And there it was. I could hear the fear in her voice. The fear that Roman would win me away because I could take out my darker nature and instincts with him.
I placed one finger against my lips, then lowered it to hers. “No, love. I don’t love Roman. I enjoy him. I like him. And yes, I can play hard with him—far harder than I ever dare play with you. But… being with him allows me to love you. It gives me the freedom to open my heart to you. Oddly enough, he might just be what makes us possible. At least in the long run.”
“I hadn’t thought about it that way.” She stared up at me, the soft rise and fall of her breast a mesmerizing sight. The woman was the incarnation of sheer beauty, and I couldn’t look away. “I have to tell you something.”
Freeze frame. I hated those words. They never preceded anything remotely good. After a moment, I forced myself to ask, “What is it?”
“For a while I was thinking of… asking you to turn me.”
Her words shattered my heart. An unexpected wash of pain rolled over me and I leaned forward, searching her face. She stared at me steadily.
