Page 100 of Sincerely, Mr. Braden

“Why is that bad?” Tears burn my eyes. “Stop twisting this into something it’s not!”

He lets out a humorless laugh. “You sound just like your mother.”

My stomach drops, but fury rises. “Oh, now you want to talk about Mom? After years of pretending she never existed? That’s rich, Dad. Real rich.”

His jaw tightens. “You think it’s easy to talk about her? You think she just woke up one day and decided she was done? She’d been cheating for years, Taylor. Different men, on and off, for years. And I stayed every damn time for her, for you kids, and for my own damn, stupid self. I thought if I just held on, she’d come back for good. And you know what that got me? Resentment. Bitterness. Half a frigging life, and I don’t want that for you,” he seethes.

My heart trips over his confession, but I’m too overwhelmed by his view of me to slow down. “You think that’s what I’m doing? I’m not resentful or bitter,” I holler, tears brimming in my eyes. “I’m living my life! I went freaking caving and rode in a helicopter. I’m with someone I love every chance I get!”

“You’re living half a life, Taylor,” he barks. “Putting your life on hold for mine.”

“Because someone has to care about you! You obviously don’t!” The words rip out of me, desperate and angry.

He pushes to his feet, and Barney scrambles away. “Don’t you get it, Taylor? I am living. That’s the whole point. I’m in a race against time with my own failing body, and I don’t intend to waste away waiting for it to stop working.” He comes toward me, his voice harsh, his eyes blazing. “I want to go places, to do things, to screw up, to fall down and get up again until I can’t get up. It’s not denial. It’s refusal to go down easy!”

“You’re going to kill yourself!” Tears spill from my eyes. “And if I’m not here, you have no reason not to.”

“Stop blaming me for your life! Stop using me as an excuse!”

“I’m not!” My breaths come in deep gasps.

“Then what are you afraid of, Taylor?” He gets in my face, his voice raw and shaking. “Why can’t you just go live your life?”

“Because I don’t want to leave you like Mom did!” The words fly out, too real to take back, so unexpected I can’t breathe.

Dad’s eyes narrow. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out.

Silence engulfs us.

I can’t move. My body shakes and quivers, my knees buckle, and I reach for the counter but crumple under the weight of the words echoing in my head. I sink down to the floor and bury my face in my hands, tears flooding as sobs burst free.

Barney noses at me, whining.

I hear my father lowering himself beside me. His arm circles my shoulder, and he pulls me against him. “I’m even more messed up than I thought,” I choke out.

“Everyone’s a little messed up, darlin’. That’s what makes us human.”

A half laugh comes out with a sob, and it breaks something loose in my chest, bringing more tears. “I don’t know if I can fix myself.” I gasp a ragged breath. “But at least now I know what’s broken.”

He holds me tighter. “You’re not broken, Taylor. You’ve just got a big damn heart like your old man. Sorry, kid.” He kisses the top of my head.

I bury my face in his chest, surrendering to the grief and the love and everything else that’s swallowing me whole.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Seth

The plane hasn’t even left the gate, and I already feel like I’m in the wrong place. The first-class cabin is too quiet, too calm for the noise in my head. Rick’s family is fighting for his wife’s life, and I know I’m doing the right thing by taking over for him, but I fucking hate leaving Ellie. I almost lost my mind when we were apart for five days on my last business trip. I can’t imagine going weeks without seeing her.

I should be reviewing operational logistics and contracts, but I can’t stop thinking about how Ellie sounded when I called to say goodbye. Even through the phone I could hear her false bravado, her fatigue, and how badly she didn’t want to interfere with what’s best for my business—or my fucking heart. The way she’ll step back to let others move forward is admirable to a fault, but she steps back when she should be held close. I’ve spent years building a life that never stops moving, chasing every whim and goal, and she’s the one thing that makes me want to be still. I have to figure out how to balance the work that drives me with the woman who anchors me. How to step back for her without forsaking a man whose loyalty has earned him the right to put his family first in this time of crisis.

“Excuse me, Mr. Braden.” The flight attendant’s voice is soft, professional. “Can I get you something to drink before we depart?”

“No, thank you.”

She nods and moves on, leaving me to battle my thoughts. Something my mother said rings too damn true. The world doesn’t stop for matters of the heart.

But I can damn well make it move faster when it counts.