Page 61 of Beautiful When He Breaks

“That’s never how someone starts when they’re about to say something normal.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know. That’s the problem.”

I glare at him, but it has no real force behind it. I’m too tired and too far gone for that. Luca watches me for another beat, then pats the foot of the bed. “Sit down before you start pacing and wear a hole in my floor.”

I do, mostly because my legs feel weirdly shaky all of a sudden. The mattress dips under my weight, and I brace my forearms on my thighs, staring at my own hands because looking him in the face while I say this feels impossible.

For a second, neither of us speaks.

Then Luca says, very calmly, “Is this about Mila, your parents, or Julian?”

My head jerks up so fast I nearly sprain something. “Why the fuck would you put Julian in that list?”

He raises one blond brow. “So, it’s Julian.”

“No,” I say too fast.

Luca stares at me with a raised eyebrow. I stare back at him for maybe two seconds before my whole face heats, and I look away again. “Fuck you,” I mutter.

His mouth twitches. “That’s not a no.”

I scrub both hands over my face and let out a groan that sounds half strangled, half furious. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“You absolutely should’ve, because now I’m entertained and useful.” He shifts a little, folding one leg under himself. “Start over and try not to sound like you’re being interrogated by the FBI.”

I laugh despite myself, but it comes out rough and embarrassed. “I don’t even know how to say this.”

“Try words. They’ve held up pretty well historically.”

“You’re being a dick on purpose.”

“Yes,” he says cheerfully. “Because if I let you spiral too early, you’ll bolt.”

That’s annoyingly accurate, which means I don’t have a comeback. I sit there with my pulse doing stupid things and the room too warm around me. I finally just blurt, “I think I might be feeling something for Jules.”

The silence after that is not shocked enough, and that pisses me off.

Luca does not blink, choke, widen his eyes, or clutch his chest. He just leans back a little farther and says, “Yeah.”

I stare at him and sputter, “Yeah?”

He shrugs. “Yeah.”

“That’s your whole reaction?”

“What did you want? Fireworks? A priest? A fruit basket?”

I actually laugh at that, then stop because none of this is funny. “Luca.”

He exhales through his nose, and the amusement softens out of him, though it doesn’t disappear completely. “Okay. Fine. Serious answer. No, I’m not shocked.”

I feel myself go cold and hot at the same time. “Why not?”

“Because I have eyes,” he says. “And because you have never, not once in the entire time I’ve known you, looked at Julian like he was just some guy.”

I open my mouth, then shut it again.