Page 125 of Songs for Libby

“Good. Because this is your one do-over, do you hear me? Don’t let anything convince you that leaving me is the right thing. I need to know that you’re not ever going to abandon me out of some stupid sense of obligation.” My chin quivered as the terror of that possibility ate at my chest. “Please don’t do that to me.”

“I’m sorry.” He finally reached for me, pushing one hand into my hair as he wrapped the other around my lower back and kissed me. “You can’t know how sorry I am.” He kissed me again. “I’m so sorry they did this to you. I hate that I left you alone in that hospital. I’m so sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry. I was just so scared.”

I cut him off with a kiss of my own. I didn’t want any more apologies. I wanted to be wrapped in his arms. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to know that he was here for good.

So we kissed and we cried and he picked me up to carry me downstairs to the couch where I could lay with my head burrowed under his chin, soaking in his presence, letting him whisper promises of love and surety in my ear.

The relief that came with his warm presence and the exhaustion that had built up over the past several days caught up with me and I slept in Sean’s arms for a time. When I woke up, I gazed up into his face and smiled. “You’re still here,” I murmured.

He kissed my head. “I’m here for good.”

I wrapped my arms more securely around his torso. “Tell me what happened after the accident.”

He frowned and took a deep breath before diving in, telling me about how minor the accident was in general, and how unfortunate that the swerve of the car had thrown me into the window. His eyes took on a haunted look as he told me about trying to assess me and Joanie, then they flashed to anger as he described how he’d tried to go after the photographers.

We talked about the video I had seen of him yelling at the paparazzi and claiming he was done. “You know you’re not really done though,” I stated.

He heaved a sigh. “I know. But I’m going to make some big changes from here on out.”

It was hard listening to it all, but knowing was better than not knowing, and I’ll admit to feeling a little vindication when he told me how miserable he was from the moment he decided to leave me.

He was telling me Randy’s take on the whole situation when Joanie woke.

The instant Joanie started making noise on the baby monitor, it was like someone had called Sean to attention. He sat up, alert and excited. “Can I get her?” he asked.

My eyes misted at his earnest plea. “Yeah,” I choked out.

He bounded up the stairs and returned a couple minutes later, my daughter tucked up against his chest. He sank down beside me and closed his eyes, a broad smile stretching his face. “This is better than any drug.”

I chuckled. “It’s nice to know I have some potent backup for convincing you to stay.”