Page 56 of Tangled Sails

“Don’t, Cael.” I put out a staying hand. “I didn’t mean it.”

His eyebrows pushed down to crowd his gaze. “But she could help.”

“I don’t want her help,” I insisted.

“You just said—”

“I can’t use her like medicine. Not to make you less worried, not to make me feel better. I won’t use her.” I turned and walked several steps away before turning back. “She’s not a tool.”

“That’s not what it would be.”

“I said no. I’ll be fine. I have to learn to deal with this on my own. Maybe…maybe Saria can help me when we marry. Maybe she could learn to.” My shoulders tensed and rolled at the thought.

If anything, my attempt at reassurance seemed to increase Caelmir’s worry. “Tav, you’ve been ten times worse since Saria came.”

“I’ll get used to it. I will. I just…need to get to know her. I need to be comfortable around her.”

There was a knock on the door that made me wince.

“Not now,” Caelmir called out.

“It’s us,” came Dorian’s voice through the door. “Let us in.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but Caelmir opened the door, yanked them inside, and closed it swiftly.

Kavian looked me over, his brow rising in derision. “Couldn’t keep your clothes on?”

“Shut your mouth, Kave.” Caelmir’s harsh demand surprised us all. As the youngest, he rarely tried to give orders. Kavian opened his mouth to retort, but Caelmir rolled over him. “Did you know it was this bad?”

He lifted one eyebrow. “What was this bad?”

Caelmir jammed a finger at me. “Him. He was falling apart in there. Did either of you notice?”

Kavian snorted. “It’s quite the burden, entertaining a beautiful woman.”

Caelmir shoved Kavian’s shoulder, his face so stormy that Kavian finally fell silent. “You’d better shove that envy down into whatever deep, dark hole is inside you and start paying attention.” Kavian stayed silent under the weight of Caelmir’s glare. “He didn’t even notice she was pretty. He wasn’t entertaining anyone. He was just out there trying to endure.”

It sounded so pathetic when he said it like that. “I’m fine,” I insisted, willing it to be true while also wanting to prevent a fight from breaking out between my brothers.

“See,” Kavian crowed. “He’s fine.”

“He’s not fine.” Dorian spoke up for the first time from where he leaned his back against the door.

Kavian looked over as if Dorian’s words were a sort of betrayal. “Come on, not you—”

“He’s not fine, Kave, and it’s time you opened your eyes enough to see it.”

I wanted to argue with them. Tell them to get out, to stop talking about me as if I weren’t there. I wanted to tell them they were overreacting.

Only they weren’t. I could feel the panic humming just under the surface, threatening to surge up and drown me. “There is a formal audience tomorrow. What am I going to do?”

They all looked at each other, each one at a loss for words. Finally, Kavian let out a low growl. “Maybe you should just ask the girl to marry you.” He tossed the words out and they crashed to the ground between us.

Some of my panic subsided, replaced instead by anger. “The girl?” I asked, danger threading through my tone.

“He means Lyri,” Dorian clarified, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I know who he means,” I snapped at Dorian, then turned my wrath on Kavian. “Leave her out of this.”