Page 45 of Life Or Death

I kind of wish I didn’t, because there is truth in what Dr. Patel is saying. It would’ve been nice to have someone here with me while they laid all this on me. Tori wanted to be here, but she had to pick up Poppy before she came to get me.

“It’s important that you have a support system during this transition period,” Dr. Patel adds.

“It’s fine,” I say, my voice cracking slightly. “I have a friend who’s going to help me. She’s actually picking me up. She just had to get her daughter from camp before she made her way over here.”

Dr. Patel looks like he wants to say more, but he doesn’t. He nods once, gathers his things, and leaves the room.

“I’ll be right back,” Sandy says before she follows him out.

The door clicks shut, and I’m alone with the folder in my lap and the silence. I glance at the clock on the wall. Tori won’t be picking me up for at least another hour. My gaze slides to the empty chair next to my bed, and for a second, I let myself imagine what it would’ve been like if I hadn’t pushed Lucifer away.

He probably would’ve asked more questions than I did because he’s controlling like that.

Important questions I didn’t even consider asking.

I press my palm flat against the discharge papers and feel the weight of everything they contain—the prescriptions, the PT schedule, and the follow-up appointments. Every limitation and all the terror that still awaits. The fear of starting over and the small sliver of hope I fight to cling to.

“I don’t need anyone,” I murmur. “I can do this on my own.”

The stairs are worse than I anticipated. Tori hovers behind me, close enough to catch me if I fall. If it weren’t for Poppy standing at the top of the landing, I probably would quit.

“Come on, Aunt Jess. You got this!”

My hand tightens around the railing, and I attempt to smile at her, but it feels more like a grimace.

“Take your time,” Tori says. “If you want a break, just say the word.”

I look up at the remaining stairs. There are only six more to go. I can do this.

Using every ounce of strength I can muster, I place my right foot on the next step, then drag my left one up to meet it.

Five more.

It takes me ten minutes before I finally reach the landing, and when I do, Poppy gives me a fist bump. Tori unlocks the door and pushes it open, then steps aside to let me through. I make it three steps inside before my left leg gives out. I catch myself on the cane, but the buckling sends a bolt of pain up my thigh that makes me gasp.

Tori is at my side instantly, her arm sliding around my waist. “I’ve got you.”

She guides me toward the couch, and I collapse onto the cushions with a sound that’s half relief, half agony. My leg throbs in time with my heartbeat, and I press my palm against the muscle above my knee, willing it to stop spasming.

When I lift my head, I find Poppy staring at me, concern etched across her face.

“I’m okay,” I assure her. “It’s just been a while since I climbed a whole flight of stairs. Give me a week and I’ll race you.”

She purses her lips. “No offense, Aunt Jess, but I don’t think so.”

“Poppy,” Tori admonishes.

“What?” Poppy says, planting her hands on her hips. “I’m just being honest.”

Tori’s eyes narrow. “We talked about this. Remember? About using kind words?”

I wave my hand dismissively. “It’s fine, Tori. She’s right. I couldn’t beat her in a race right now if my life depended on it.”

Poppy’s lips twitch into a small smile before Tori catches her eye.

“Go get washed up,” Tori says, sighing. “I’m going to start dinner.”

Poppy disappears down the hallway to her room, and I hear her door click shut. Tori turns back to me, her expression softening.