Page 78 of Life Or Death

I’m breathing like I’ve run ten miles. Every muscle in my body is coiled, straining against Shadow and Tormentor’s grip, every part of me still wanting to finish it.

“You say one more fucking word about my wife,” I grind out, “and I will fucking end you. Brother or not.”

Silence drops over the group, and everyone stares at me.

Nightmare swipes the back of his hand under his nose, smearing blood across his upper lip, and he looks at me with both fury and confusion. “Your wife?” He spits a mouthful of blood onto the gravel. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Dread, who has positioned himself at Nightmare’s shoulder, leans in close. “I fucking warned you, man.”

Nightmare turns on him, shoving him back a step. “Warned me about what?”

Shadow and Tormentor are still holding me, but they’ve gone slack with shock, and I feel the moment their grip loosens just enough. I roll my shoulders and break free, stepping forward. Not charging this time. Just closing the distance so there’s nothing left between us but truth.

“Jess is my fucking wife, you cocksucker.”

Nightmare stares at me. His chest is heaving. Blood is still running freely down over his lips, dripping off his jaw, and he doesn’t even seem to notice it anymore. “How the fuck was I supposed to know that?” His voice climbs, raw and defensive. “I’m not a fucking mind reader, man.”

“No,” I say, my jaw so tight it aches. “You’re just a man who doesn’t know when to keep his fucking mouth shut.”

Shadow’s hand lands on my shoulder. “Lucifer. Walk with me. Now.”

I don’t want to walk. I want to stand here and let every man at this table understand exactly what the price of disrespect looks like, but Shadow’s grip tightens.

He steers me away from the table, past the gas pumps, around the corner of the building where the highway roars behind us.

Shadow turns to me. “You want to tell me what the hell is going on? When the fuck did you get married? And why am I just hearing about it?”

I drag my fingers through my hair, gripping the back of my skull, and let out a breath that’s been sitting in my chest since I threw that first punch. “A couple of weeks after the explosion at Rodeo Roundup.”

Shadow’s expression doesn’t change, but something shifts behind his eyes.

“She was in bad shape,” I tell him. “Had burns all over her legs.” I drop my hand from the back of my neck. “And because we’re a bunch of cheap fucks who don’t insure their employees, she had nothing. No coverage.”

Shadow crosses his arms. “So you felt responsible.”

In more ways than one, but telling him everything—how I had Max fire her so I could hire to work at the bar just to keep tabs on her, when I haven’t even told her about that yet, doesn’t seem right. I put her in harm’s way, and that’s not something I’ll ever forgive myself for.

I swallow thickly. “Yeah, and at first, I tried to pay cash for everything. I emptied my accounts and borrowed money from Dread.” I pause, contemplating how truthful I should be. The man is my vice president, and I’ve been fucking lying to him for months. Now, I’m sending him and everyone else into a war I created all because I needed money to save my wife.

“Remember when you found out about me going to Maddox to see if I could recoup some of the money we invested in the ranch?”

His brows furrow as he crosses his arms over his chest and nods.

“I lied to you when I said it was about getting the funds to rebuild the bar. I didn’t give a fuck about that place. If he would’ve given me that money back, I would’ve likely handed it straight to the hospital.”

The dots start to connect for him, and he lowers his hands to his hips. “Jesus Christ, man. Is that why we’re on our way to Mexico, right now? The stockpile . . . the deal with the Satan’s Knights . . . it was all for her?”

I bite the inside of my cheek. We’re on our way to Mexico because we needed more weapons to cover the deals I’ve made, but every cent the club has made with the Satan’s Knights has gone to the rebuild of Rodeo Roundup.

“It would’ve been if I didn’t marry her.” I tip my chin to where the rest of our club stands. “Every dollar we’ve made has gone right back into our books. You can ask Mammon.”

“He knows about this too?”

I shake my head. “But he’s the treasurer. If I had gone through with my plan, he would’ve caught it by now. The only person who knew everything was Dread.”

“Why him?”

I shrug. “It was around Della’s kidnapping. I was fucking spiraling, man. He caught on, and came up with the idea that I marry her.”