Page 39 of Postscript

‘From the club?’

‘Yeah.’

He’s silent. ‘OK,’ he says tightly. ‘Call me when you can.’ He ends the call.

I sigh. One step forward, two steps back.

Ginika arrives at 8 p.m., with Jewel in her arms and a baby bag across her body. Jewel gives me a beautiful smile.

‘Hello, gorgeous,’ I say, taking her tiny soft fingers. I welcome them into my home, leading them from the hall, through the living room to the dining room, but Ginika stops in the living room.

‘You have a nice house,’ she says, looking around.

I stand at the table, hinting at her to sit, but she takes her time nosily looking around. Her eyes rest on the framed wedding photos of Gerry and me on the wall.

‘It’s not usually so tidy, but I’m selling the house. I’ve everything hidden away, so don’t open a cupboard or my entire life will topple out.’

‘That’s Gerry,’ she says.

‘That’s him.’

‘He’s handsome.’

‘He was. And he knew it. Best-looking boy in the class,’ I say, smiling. ‘I met him in school.’

‘I know, when you were fourteen,’ she says, continuing to study his photograph. Her eyes move to the single framed photograph of Gabriel and me, on the mantelpiece.

‘Who’s he?’

‘My boyfriend, Gabriel.’

I stalled the house viewings during the two weeks while I recuperated but this week viewings have resumed. I usually remove all the photographs when prospective buyers are visiting the house. I’m private by nature, despite spilling my experiences of grief over a podcast, and prefer not to have people snooping through my personal items. If Ginika is this invasive before my very eyes, then I can’t imagine what people do when I’m not here. I make a note to hide more things in better places.

‘He’s different,’ she says, her eyes moving from Gabriel to Gerry.

‘Polar opposites,’ I agree, joining her in the living room, sensing she’s going to take her time.

She examines Gabriel closely, then her eyes run slowly over Gerry. Comparison is natural, I suppose, I’m not the only one who does it.

‘In what way?’

I’m not in the mood to analyse Gabriel right now. ‘Gabriel’s much taller,’ I say with a sigh.

‘That’s it?’ She arches an eyebrow.

‘And older.’

‘Moving.’ Dissatisfied with my response, she looks around to continue her inspection.

‘It’s late,’ I say, leading her to the dining table again. ‘When does Jewel sleep?’

‘When we get home.’

‘That will be late,’ I say, concerned.

‘We always go to bed at the same time.’

‘Do you want to put her down while we work? I can get a blanket. She’s not crawling yet, is she?’