Page 34 of Craving Sin

“I doubt that.”

“It was part of it, though. I’ve never felt quite good enough. My father is never satisfied with me, and I have this need to try to prove him wrong.”

“Your father sounds like an asshole. I can’t imagine a father not being proud of you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I know enough about you,” I answer. “You’re good, Abbott. And smart. Be proud of that.”

He looks away, then clears his throat, a far-off expression in his eyes. “I, um…thank you.”

“It’s true.” I shrug. “Now, why else? The surgeon thing.”

“I guess it’s probably also because of my mom. She was alive after her attack. She was taken to the hospital, and a surgeon saved her. A few days later, she ended up with an infection, which is what killed her, but…” Abbott lets his words trail off, pushing the food around the plate with his fork. “But I was fascinated with what he had done. That he had gone inside her body and fixed it. I wanted to be able to do that with people.”

He is…not what I expected, though I don’t know what I did expect. Every second I spend with him, I just become more fascinated. “So you did,” I say.

He looks at me, a small, confused smile pulling at one side of his mouth. “So I did,” he answers.

“Again, a reason you should be proud.”

“Stop trying to pretend you’re a nice guy.” He gives a small, unexpected smile that tells me he’s joking. What a strange turn of events this all is. “Your son, you said he’s got a boyfriend?” Abbott continues.

“Yes.”

“And that’s okay with you…in whatever world this is you live in?”

“The human world,” I tease. “And yes. All I want is for Cillian to be happy, and Ollie makes him that way. And if there’s anyone who has a problem with the two of them together, I’ll slit their throat.”

Abbott, taking a drink as I speak, sucks orange juice into his mouth and begins coughing. I laugh, and he does the most unexpected thing by giving me the finger.

“It’s wild to me that I’m sitting with someone who would say that, and I believe them.”

“You get used to it when it’s all you know.” I shrug. I probably shouldn’t have given him their names. That was a mistake, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. At least dead men can’t speak. “Did your father care that you’re gay?” I figure that must be why he brought it up.

“My father cares about how things look, and what it can do for him, so at first it was something for him to figure out. It was never about me, or about him feeling strongly one way or another about being queer. It all came down to him trying to figure out how he could capitalize on it.”

“He sounds like my father.” I try to scoop some eggs onto my toast with one hand.

“Do you need help?” Abbott asks.

“No,” I say more testily than I planned. “Sorry. I don’t like it when I can’t do something.”

He chuckles. “Most people don’t.” I eat a bit separately rather than together as I’d wanted. “So, where are Ollie and Cillian?”

I tense, eyeing him. “Why?”

“Um…because I’m making conversation. If we’re stuck together, it seems like at least talking to each other is a good idea.”

“Don’t try to use my son against me, Doc. Don’t try to think of a way to hurt him. If you think—”

“Let’s not threaten me again, please. I know how this ends, Rian. And I wasn’t trying to think of a way to use your son against you. I was just…curious. It’s clear how much you love him. It doesn’t fit with who I thought you would be. Just like I suppose, most people would assume my father is a good one, when that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

My teeth grind and my palms sweat. I’m not surprised his father is an asshole. Most politicians are. Hell, most people in general are, but the thought of him hurting his son, of him hurting someone like Abbott, who only seems to care about helping others, about being kind to them, fills me with a sickening rage. “Did he hurt you?” I can’t stand the thought of a father putting his hands on their child, and if I’d known Sloan did it to Tiernan before he died, I would have been the one to kill my brother myself.

“What? No. Not physically. I don’t want to talk about him.”

What did he do to you? I might have to pay the governor a visit after this is all done.