Page 57 of When We Were Young

When he has completed his spiel, we walk over, and I show him the wall that I would like removed to join the two spaces. Then I grab my keys, and we lock the café and head next door. I open the gorgeous vintage wooden door, and we walk in. It doesn’t need the same level of work that the café did, but it is definitely dusty.

“I’m sorry I haven’t cleaned yet. I figured there was going to be construction anyway, and I was focusing on the café, so⁠—”

“Li... Lizzie, stop explaining. I totally get it. You’ve got a ton to do. You’ve already done the upstairs, and you’ve got a lot done next door.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s a lot. Then add in dropping off and picking up my son from day camp, and I am⁠—”

“Y-you have a son?”

His voice is low. He sounds shocked.

The tension in the room just went from zero to 60 in a split second.

My mouth drops open, and my chest squeezes.

I assumed he would know from Georgie. Plus, Harrison and Layla already met Simon. Tillie and Delaney know as well because they were at my house helping me with some decorating when Simon was there. I assumed someone would’ve told him.

It’s clear from his fallen features that they have not.

“Yes, I do.”

“How old?” he asks. His voice cracks.

“He's six and a half.”

Holden says nothing. His mouth is slightly ajar, and his expression is flat, telling me nothing. It’s his eyes that speak the loudest as they narrow slightly, piercing me. It’s obvious he wasn’t expecting this news today.

“I assumed, because he’s met so many of your family, that someone would’ve told you. He’s completely enthralled with Layla, by the way. They were playing at the park the other day, and it was adorable. She brought out a spirit in him that I haven’t seen in a long time.”

“Even Layla knows?” He doesn’t wait for an answer before continuing. “Are you... Are you married?”

I try to mask the strain I’m certain is showing on my face when I remember Landon telling me that we’d be married eventually. I suspect he truly believes his family’s money and power keep nothing out of his reach. But I’m not for sale. It pains me that Landon is the man Holden thinks I chose over him.

I shake my head.

“Who is your son’s fa⁠—”

I interrupt him, unable to have this conversation right now.

“Holden, can we not talk about this right now? I’m sorry that you didn’t know. I didn’t mean for it to catch you off guard. But it’s been ten years since... since we were friends. People’s lives undergo major changes in ten years. They do things. Get married. Have children. Buy houses. They travel if that’s their dream. I’m not the same woman I was when we were younger.”

“I didn’t,” he whispers.

“Huh?” I heard him, but I don’t understand.

He runs a hand through his hair, tilts his head back, and closes his eyes for a second. Then he takes a few deep breaths and opens them again.

“I didn’t do any of those things. I’m the same guy I was when we were younger.”

At first, hearing him say that, as if maybe I meant something to him, pains me. But then I remind myself of the few weeks before the end of that semester. A sarcastic laugh escapes me, and I shake my head in disbelief at his impression of himself and that he expects me to buy it.

“I don’t know about that, Holden, because the man I met in the library and spent all those hours with is not the man I last saw before I left school. So, which one is it? Which was the real you? Or was I just stupid all along?”

“Our time spent together in the library is the most real I’ve ever been. The only time I felt free to be me.”

A pain grips my chest. Do not believe him. Why am I letting this go on? Nothing good can come of hashing this out. Still, I can’t seem to stop.

“Listen, you’re right. It’s been ten years. We’ve changed.”