Page 88 of When We Were Young

“You look at her like Daddy looks at Mommy and Uncle Harry looks at Delaney. But when you do it, you look kinda... kinda sad at the same time. That’s why it’s taking me so long to work on this case.”

Oh my God. She’s not messing around.

“I didn’t want to make you more sad, so I wasn’t sure if I should help you get her to love you. See, ‘cause if you love her and that makes you sad, then I don’t wanna make you feel bad.”

I run a hand through my hair and blow out a puff of air, my shoulders, my whole body actually, sagging at the end of it. How do I explain this to a six-year-old in a way that won’t hurt her feelings but will help deter her?

“It’s complicated. It’s not like your mom and dad or Uncle Harry and Delaney. Even if I do look at her like that or have feelings for her, she doesn’t feel the same.”

“Yes, she does,” Layla answers.

“I’m pretty sure she doesn’t,” I tell her.

“Well, she gives you the same look. She does it in secret. At least she thinks she does, but I see things. It’s ‘cause I pay attention. I’m a stoot. I’m a stoot observer.”

“I think you mean astute,” I gently correct her.

“That’s what I said.”

I decide not to go down this rabbit hole. The kid is smart, but she also has a bit of stubbornness.

“All right. Are you ready?”

Not knowing what else to do, I nod.

I watch her for a second as she opens several of her folders and sifts through them, pulling out a few sheets of paper.

I know it’s crazy to let a six-year-old get involved in your love life. At the same time, she got involved with Henry and Tillie’s and then much more actively with Harrison’s, and those turned out all right. I’m behaving like a madman even considering this.

“She’s my friend, but I don’t like her like that. Like a girlfriend.”

“Uh-huh,” she responds dismissively. “I think that you do. It’s okay, everybody gets scared sometimes.”

“Scared?”

“Yeah. It’s gonna be a lot of work. More than even Uncle Harry.”

“What? I’m not more work than Uncle Harry.” The exasperation in my words rings clear.

“Yes, you are because you have all those other ladies.”

“No, I don’t. I⁠—”

She tosses up a hand to stop me. “I’m not judgin’. I’m just saying that if I seen all those ladies liking you, and you getting their texts, then Lizzie probably sees it. That’s not good.”

“Well, first of all, I haven’t been doing that for a while, and second, even when I did have more... more friends that were ladies, Lizzie didn’t see it.”

Layla sits back, straightens her posture, and folds her arms across her chest. “Never?”

I stop myself. I can’t really say never, can I? Not if I’m counting college. That’s who she knew me to be at the end. Still, this is all ludicrous.

“You don’t have to answer that out loud. Just answer it in here and in here.” She points to her head, and then her heart.

Lena pats over my heart several times.

“So first, we gotta fix that, and it’s good that you have already been working on that by yourself. I can’t really do much for you there, but then you gotta work on your love skills.”

I had just taken a sip of my water, and her words make me aspirate on it.