Page 87 of Cursing My Cheating Husband

A female voice that sounded oddly familiar the more I heard of it.

It couldn’t be…

“Gwen!?!” I exclaimed.

Gwen looked to me, eyes widening in shock. “Callie!” She immediately jumped off the crate and fell prostrate to the ground at my feet. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

This was an overwhelming experience for many reasons, and the first one was smell. The stench coming from Gwen was eye-watering. It was like a corpse that had spent a week rotting in the sewer.

“Gwen, please, get up.” I left unsaid: so I can put some distance between me and your nauseating odor.

She rose to her feet, and I stepped back a few paces.

“So… new look?” I said.

Her eyes sparkled with manic energy. “Yes. My time in the snow globe transformed me.”

Well, yeah. That’s what I’d been trying to do. I felt a flicker of satisfaction that it had worked, though clearly not exactly as envisioned.

“I’ve sworn off men and taken a vow of celibacy,” Gwen continued. “But that didn’t seem like enough. I had to be sure I repelled any man who looked my way.” She gestured at her hideous appearance. “I’ve stopped bathing as well. I’m dedicating the rest of my life to atoning for the sins of my past.”

“By preaching on the streets?”

“Only until I get my master’s degree. I’ve taken a vow of poverty and given away everything I own—I live in a tent under the bridge now, right by the sewer overflow pipe—but I kept just enough to pay for my schooling. So I can get to a place where I can do some real good.”

I was afraid to ask. “Do good how?”

“I’m going to become a couples therapist.”

I actually staggered. “A couples therapist?!?”

“Yes. After how many marriages I violated, I feel called to this. I want to dedicate myself fully to helping other relationships heal.”

I doubted any marriage could survive forty-five minutes in a room with Gwen’s current smell. “When it’s time to open your practice, you may want to take up showering again.”

“Oh, there’ll be no need. I plan to do my sessions online. Pro-bono!”

She had an answer for everything. I guess she’d had plenty of time to think it out in the snow globe. “How long were you in there?”

She giggled hysterically. “Oh, not that long at all. Just a week.”

“A week in real time? So inside the snow globe, that was⁠—”

“10,000 years, give or take.”

“Gwen… I think I might have overdone it with your curse.”

“No, absolutely not!” Gwen interrupted, her wild eyes growing even more intense.

I blinked. “I’m surprised you say that.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. The first 9,000 years or so were rough, and did I ever hate you! But the truth is, I was still completely fixated on seducing married men all the way up to year 9,137. I clearly needed every minute.” She shook her head frantically. “The last millennium in there, that really did me good. I’m so grateful to you, Callie. You gave me enough time to grow into a decent person. It’s not your fault I started so far back it took me 10,000 years to get there.”

Her high-strung energy abruptly downshifted into something reverent. “And think of how much you’ve done for others. If you hadn’t stopped me, how many more victims would I have claimed? How many more marriages would I have broken?” She shuddered. “I get chills thinking about it.”

I began to back away. “Well, glad it worked out for you.”

“Is there anything you want from me? Can I do anything to atone for how I wronged you?”