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God. I’m falling for him.
“What are we?” I blurted out, sliding my hands from his shoulders to his forearms and pushing him away slightly.
His eyebrows pulled together at both the question and the distance. “What do you mean?”
Uncomfortable with my own goddamn question, I turned back to the stove and started stirring the pasta vigorously.
He grabbed my chin in one hand and froze my frantic wrist with the other, pulling my gaze back toward him. “What do you mean, sweetheart?” he whispered seriously, everything about him soft and open.
“Are we…” I started and then paused to lick my lips. His pupils dilated as he watched. “Are we together?”
He tilted his head to the side in serious contemplation, and my lunch started to crawl up my throat with unease.
“Do you want to be together?” he asked. His gaze held mine and pled. I just couldn’t tell for what.
“Do you want to be together?” I tried.
He smirked. “I asked you first.”
We stood there for what seemed like forever, lost in each other as I tried to find the courage to tell him how I felt.
Why is it so fucking hard?
“Knock knock! Yo! Winnie girl! Where are you?” a loud, booming voice called from the foyer. I jumped, but Wes never moved an inch.
We stayed there, staring at each other until the moment was completely ruined by my oldest brother Remy bounding into my kitchen. “There you are!” he said with a grin, pulling me into a tight hug and away from Wes.
When Remy finally let me go, Wes stuck out his hand to shake hello. “Remy.”
Remy took his hand and squeezed. Hard. “Go fuck yourself, Lancaster.”
“Jesus, Rem,” I griped. “What is wrong with you?”
Wes smiled, though, and it wasn’t long before it spread from his face to my own.
“Progress, huh?” I teased.
Wes winked. “Minor snag.”
“Uh oh…Uncle Remy said a bad word,” Lexi singsonged as she entered the kitchen with my mother and several bags full of dessert. They’d gone on a run to the three of the best bakeries in a five-block radius just so Lexi could have her donuts, Jude could have his cannoli, and Ty could have fresh chocolate chip and almond cookies. I wasn’t spoiled enough to ask for something specific like my stupid brothers, but, if things kept going as they were, I’d probably take a healthy sample of all three.
“Remington Winslow, where are your manners!” my mother chastised as she set the bags on the counter. Her light blond, conservatively cut hair sat perfectly on her shoulders, but her eyes said, “I will fuck you up if you keep acting like an idiot.”
Momma Winslow had that look down pat. It was the only way for a mother of four sons to keep her wild boys in line.
The whole group of us stared at Remy, but he just shrugged, not the least bit concerned about the fact that he looked like a complete dick. That wasn’t anything new, though. He’d never, but never, given that first fuck about proper conduct.
“Come here, Lexi Lou!” He stretched out both arms.
But before she could sprint into his embrace, Ty barged in. “No way, I get first dibs on hugs from my favorite little niece,” he said as he snatched Lexi into his arms. I hadn’t even heard the door open with his arrival, but the more people who arrived, the less aware I would be. With a family our size, all of our weekly dinners shared one common theme: chaos.
Flynn and Jude arrived shortly after and crowded into the shrinking kitchen. Each and every brother made a show over picking Lexi up and fawning over her, and my heart grew two sizes bigger in my chest like it always did. My daughter hadn’t had the easiest road when it came to father figures in her life, but my brothers had all stepped up.
Her father, Nick, was about as absent as one could get. His appearances in her life were few and far between and almost always self-serving. He wasn’t a bad guy. Intrinsically selfish, he just wasn’t father material.
In the beginning, it had been very hard, being a single mom who could not rely on the father of her child for anything besides finances. It had been a long, tough road. If I hadn’t been nearly done with medical school when I got pregnant, I don’t know that I would have finished.
But I had, starting my career as a physician with a brand-new baby in tow, and thanks to my strong support system, I’d managed to do just fine.
My brothers were a huge part of that.
“Are you going to introduce us, Winnie?” Ty asked.
“Yeah,” Jude agreed. “I thought that’s what this whole shindig was about…parading the new sacrifice, that kind of thing.”
My mother smacked the back of his head, and I smiled. I win.
Jude gave me the finger behind his back, but I backhanded it with an imaginary tennis racket.
Flynn laughed and reached across the space to give me five.
“This is Wes!” Lexi shouted and ran over to slide her little hand into his. She tugged him toward her uncles with a giant grin on her face. Wes’s eyes sought mine. The wonder in them when he made contact? Blinding.
Everyone else was busy trying to mask their surprise. Lex was a different kind of kid, and sometimes, it took a lot of effort for her to really show affection toward someone who wasn’t her family.
It had taken her nanny, Melinda, a solid year to get on Lex’s good side.
But somehow, Wes Lancaster had managed to become one of my daughter’s favorite people in a mind-blowingly short amount of time. She was so inherently comfortable around him, and he her, it was like he understood her little soul on a higher level than most people could. And more than that, he made a real effort to learn the things about her that weren’t as obvious.
“Mom, this is Wes Lancaster.” I started introductions with the most innocuous of all the guests.
“Hi, Mrs. Winslow,” he greeted and pulled her into a quick, thoughtful hug. “I’m Winnie’s boyfriend. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
Boyfriend? Did he just say boyfriend?
Wes’s eyes met mine for a brief moment, purpose and intent in them. I was surprised by the declaration, but he sure as shit wasn’t.
My mother giggled a little, and a bright smile lit up her face. “It is wonderful to meet you, Wes. Please, call me Wendy.”
“Boyfriend?” Remy asked.
Yeah, news to me, too, I thought to myself, but I somehow managed to school my facial expression into an amused grin rather than the deer-in-headlights, downright shock that consumed me.
Ignoring Remy and my panic, I finished up introductions. “Wes. Flynn, Jude, Ty, and you know Remy,” I said as I pointed to each of them.
Ty shook his hand with a pathetic attempt of a friendly smile. It looked more like, “Sleep with one eye open, buddy, because I will cut you.”
Jude shrugged.
Flynn offered a halfhearted wave.
And Remy just stared Wes down.
Wow. This was going to be interesting, for sure. My mother breathed the deep, beleaguered sigh of a woman who’d been dealing with this group of obstinate, aggravating humans for the vast majority of her adult life.
But Wes handled it all in stride, moving to each of my brothers, save Remy, and offering a friendly handshake and a smile in the face of each murderous glare flashed in his direction.
“Honey, would you like me to help you with anything?” my mother offered while Wes and my brothers started to chat about the Mavericks’ upcoming game against Philly.
“Uh, yeah, sure,” I answered and turned back to the stove where pasta was boiling and meatballs and garlic bread needed tending to.
When I looked up again, Wes, my brothers, and Lexi were all gone.
Shit.
“Where’d they go?” I asked my mother frenziedly. She had the audacity to laugh.
“Nothing is funny about this!”
“Oh, relax. He’ll be fine,” she assured with a pat to my back. “He went willingly into the living room with them. Either that or your brothers have gotten really good at concealing their techniques.”
“Mom!” I whined.
“He’s handled everything just fine so far. You don’t have anything to worry about. Plus, he’s got his fan club with him.”
Lexi.
“You noticed that, huh?”
“I’ve never seen her take to someone like that,” she murmured quietly, all traces of humor gone, and I had to fight the sting in my eyes.
“Do you love him?” she asked a few quiet moments later as she stirred the pasta sauce.
“Mom.”
“What?” she protested. “It’s a valid question. He’s here in your house, and very obviously in your life, if Lexi’s attachment is any indication.”
I sighed and ventured honestly, “Should I know the answer to that?”
She tilted her head to the side as her motherly gaze assessed my face. It was a look only a mother could pull off, her honey brown eyes reaching into my soul and listening intently to all of my secrets. “Our hearts always know the answer to that question, but sometimes, our minds put up walls to prevent us from really seeing the situation for what it is.”
“And you think I love him?”
“Oh, honey. I don’t think anything. I’m just asking what you think.”
“I hate it when you do that,” I complained. “I just want my mom to give me the freaking answer. Is that too much to ask?”
She smiled again, and a small, quiet laugh escaped her lips. Her gaze went back to the pasta sauce while I just stood there, feet frozen to the floor and mind racing a mile a minute. Leave it to my mother to push me into the wilds of a reflective state—and then leave me there to fend for myself.
