Page 10 of Second Chance Summer

I say, “We’ll walk back to the table together, but we still need to go through this process. Nothing changes.”

“Meaning what, exactly?”

“Meaning that whatever happens here between us won’t change anything when we’re back home.”

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Put rules on things. Why can’t we just be?”

“Because this is an illusion, Hendrick. We’re in paradise. It’s all a setup by Dr. Hubert. Of course we were bound to have fun sooner or later, so I’m telling you now—we can have our fun, but places like this are not a good indicator of how life will be back in the real world.”

He frowns. I’m not sure if he’s not understanding what I’m saying or if he just doesn’t like it. At any rate, I clear my throat and say, “Alright. Let’s go.”

When we return to the table with Dr. Akuna Matata, she says, “Oh, there you all are. I thought I’d have to come looking for y’all.”

“Oh, no,” I say, sitting. “I’m fine. I just got a little emotional there.”

“But everything is good now?”

“Yes,” Henny and I blurt out together as he takes his seat.

I look up at him, watching as he gets right back into his meal, cutting the steak. The doctor goes quiet. I suppose she’s back to pretending she’s not here with us, so I look at Henny and ask, “When you’re at your meetings or out of town attending conferences, do you think about me, or is it all about work for you?”

He lowers his fork and says, “Of course I think about you, Nai.”

“In what sense?”

“I don’t think I understand your question,” he says, securing the white cloth napkin to wipe the corners of his mouth.

“What I mean is, do you think of me in the sense that you know what you’re doing is for us, or do you think of me in the sense that you miss me and you can’t wait to get back home to me—well, when we lived together?”

He frowns briefly. “I think of you in the sense that I work extra hard so that all the times I can’t be present now, I can be one hundred percent available in the future.”

“But life is happening now, Henny.”

“I’m aware.”

“And I have a job, too, so it’s not like you have to work so hard to take care of us.”

“Your job is your job, and the money you make is your money. You’re my wife. I said vows, which, to me, means that I take care of you. One thing my father told me when I told him I was going to propose to you was—I’ll never forget it—he said, ‘son, if you’re going to marry that woman, then you need to be in a position to take care of her. If you’re expecting her to give birth to your children, and raise them in love while she’s cooking for you, keeping your house clean, and carrying the emotional burdens of everyone in her household, then you better make sure you ain’t asking her to pay half of nothing. She’s paid with her body. Her mind. Her soul.’ So, that’s what I’m doing. I’m providing for us because that’s my job. And, I do it willingly, but I can’t be in two places at one time, Nai.”

“But you could dial it back a little.”

“I could.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“That will require me changing jobs, and I’ve been at this one for so long that I’ve worked my way up to management now. I’m making six figures. Starting over right now is not in my plans.”

“Let me ask you, Dr. Makalua,” I say. “What should a couple do when a job is taking too much time?”

“Simple. You fix the job, or you make time for each other in other ways.”

I resume eating my now cold fish and rice, and surprisingly, it’s still the bomb. I glance up intermittently to find Hendrick’s eyes heavily focused on me. On my mouth. On my thoughts. Heat travels through my limbs, remembering how he picked me up and placed me on the counter in the bathroom. His desire for me runs deep still, but I can’t help shake the feeling that there’s someone else keeping him occupied. My mama always said, if he ain’t getting it from you, you better believe he’s getting it from somebody else. Men ain’t wired to control themselves like women are. We’ve been separated for four months. I haven’t thought of being with anyone else, but by the way these women out here giving it out, I know he’s had plenty of offers.

I take a long sip of water like it’s going to give me the courage I need for this next question, and ask, “Was there anyone else?”