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Sure enough, she smiled at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “That’s really sweet,” she told him softly. “But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“You mean there’s more?”
“Yeah.” She took another deep breath. “Maybe I’m an idiot for telling you this, but I figure you have the right to know. And I’d rather you hear it from me instead of my dad if he’s trying to piss you off and get you to quit again.”
“Okay.” The bad feeling was back, tightening his stomach and making him feel like he really, really wasn’t going to like whatever she was about to say.
“I wasn’t really here as social media director for you guys. That was kind of my cover—and I took it to heart, because God knows you have a lot of room for improvement, but …”
“But?” he prompted impatiently.
She sighed heavily. “But I was here to kind of watch out for you. To make sure you had whatever you needed and didn’t…”
It hit him then, came to him with a clarity that nearly blew the top of his head off. “You were here to babysit me. To make sure I stayed clean.”
She winced at his tone. “Yes. I’m sorry I lied, sorry I didn’t tell you right from the beginning why the label sent me. But I was afraid it would freak you out, send you spiraling out of control, and that was the last thing I wanted.”
“You thought knowing I had a babysitter would make me use again?” he demanded.
“No. I just thought maybe you didn’t need someone looking over your shoulder, making you feel worse about—”
“The whole time?” he interrupted, shaking his head to try to clear it from the feeling of betrayal that was sweeping through him. “You were afraid to tell me the whole time because you thought I’d go back to heroin?”
“I’m sorry—”
“You’re sorry?” he demanded. “After you told me over and over again that I had this, that you knew I wasn’t going to slip…was that just an act?” He shook his head, started to pace. “What am I thinking? Of course it was an act. It was all lies, right? You were just doing your job. You never actually had any faith in me.”
“That’s not true! I did have faith. I do.”
He stopped,turned to face her. “So what was yesterday morning all about? Just you poking at the wound to see how soon I would snap?”
“No, of course not! I wanted to—”
“You wanted to spy on me for the record label. By poking and prodding at me, trying to get me to break so you could make sure you were there to watch me in case I fell apart. Is that why you did it? You were trying to get to the bottom of things so the label didn’t have to worry about losing its precious tour insurance deposit?”
“No! Yesterday was about helping you!”
“I never asked for your help, Poppy. If you recall, I never wanted it.” He shoved a frustrated hand through his hair.
“I know,” she said quietly, but he was too wound up to listen.
“I was doing okay on my own, right? Not drinking. Not doing drugs. Not fucking up. So why’d you have to push? Why’d you have to get in my head like that?”
“I wasn’t trying to get in your head.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit. You were totally angling for it. ‘Tell me, Wyatt. It’s not your fault, Wyatt. You should see a therapist, Wyatt. I just want to help, Wyatt—’”
“I did want to help. I do. I’m sorry I pushed yesterday. I shouldn’t have when I knew I wasn’t being completely hone
st. But none of what I said yesterday was because of the job. I said it because I meant it. Because I love—”
“Don’t!” He cut her off as another wave of betrayal tore through him. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare tell me you love me ten seconds after you tell me that this has all been an act. I don’t want to hear it from you. Not now. Not like this.”
“I’m sorry.” There were tears in her voice, tears in her beautiful brown eyes. It hurt to witness them—the last thing he’d ever want to do was make her cry. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“But you did hurt me.”
“I know.” She reached for him again, and again he shrugged her off. “But please, don’t let this mess you up. This is my fault, these are my lies. Please, please don’t go off the rails because I screwed up—”
