Page 57 of My Unfinished Heart

What those words do to me… I can’t even pretend to understand it. “Then don’t go.”

“I have to. But you’re right. I’ll come back. I mean, I’ll miss Austin and Connor, and…well…” He gives me a glance and a small shrug.

“Me?”

He snorts. “I’d be an idiot to miss you.”

Because he didn’t say he wouldn’t, I slide my hand beneath his hair, around the back of his neck and bend to kiss him. He rises to a full kneel, opening his mouth against mine, and another knot in my heart loosens to let him in. My knee forgotten, I grab him, pulling him over me as I fall back onto the bed. He crawls up my body and moves to lie beside me.

I kiss him with half-open eyes until I can’t keep them open anymore, and I surrender. Not to him, but to the crazy, unexpected feelings I have for him, something I’ve never done because I’ve never felt this. I wrap him in my arms, my hands finding the smooth skin of his back. He draws his leg up, over my hip, urging me closer. Like I am Austin. Like I’m the only thing he’ll miss.

“Archer, this would be my first time, but I want this. I want you. So much.” His leg tightens around me, putting us into a very intimate position. He can feel every inch of how much I want him because I’m helpless this close to him. We’re both hard, both slowly grinding closer. He’s close enough that I feel his nipple rings through both our shirts. The knowledge of them continues to mess with me.

He might be innocent, but he owns me. When his lips meet mine again, lying here in this position, I know something I’ve never known before.

I would do anything for him.

Absolutely fucking anything.

I have hours and hours left with him. And I have right now.

With his leg clamped around me and his hands in my hair, he stares straight into my eyes. “Did you hear what I said?” His lips slide against my mouth as he speaks. His cock glides alongside mine as he rolls his hips more firmly against me. “I want you.”

“I don’t⁠—”

“Archer—listen to me.” His hands grip my hair—my head. He kisses my mouth. Demanding. “I’m leaving in the morning. I want this. And it has to be with you. Please don’t let me go.”

He’s verbalizing things I thought only I was feeling. He’s telling me I’m not in this alone. That I’m not alone anymore at all.

His words catch up with me. “You said it’s your first time?” I ask, out of breath.

“Because I want it to be you. It has to be you.”

I wish I were with it enough to parse out what he’s trying to tell me, but his firm body in my arms is too intense a distraction. Besides, his tone is so urgent and sincere, I have no choice but to believe him, but this isn’t hypothetical anymore. He’s talking about his actual virginity with the guy whose body is trapped between his legs. I’m already shaking my head. “I can’t. You’re leaving. It’s too much. Too fast.” Honestly I’m not sure I can handle it.

He moves against me in a way that says he knows otherwise. “Don’t make me beg. I want all of you.” The words are hushed and soft before the kissing and grinding starts again.

His fingertips find their way between us and slide down my chest seeking the skin of my stomach beneath my shirt. I hold his face close to mine with shaking hands. I take a breath, and so does he. I press my mouth into the corners of his before holding his forehead against mine. I try to think beyond this moment, but it’s not easy with him so close.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“I’m nervous,” I say, surprising myself.

“Shouldn’t I be the nervous one?”

“You aren’t?” I ask.

“I am. But not enough to take back what I said.”

“Tristan, you shouldn’t rush this. I don’t want to hurt you. ”

His eyes narrow. Determined. “I can handle it. But if you have a thing about not having sex with virgins, I can’t fix that tonight. The next time I see you, though⁠—”

I put my hand over his mouth because I don’t want him to ever finish that thought. I feel his smile grow beneath my palm. His eyes sparkle. Some of the weight I’ve felt when I’ve been around him lately with our unfortunate series of encounters falls away with the lightness in his eyes. Before I take my hand away, I say, “I don’t have a problem with virgins.”

He kisses my palm before it slides down to his neck. “I don’t need to know everything about you right now, Archer.” He smiles again, and so I smile. He snuggles even closer.

I like him here so much, giving me his time and his beauty and his exuberant glow. What I don’t like is the idea of letting a man like this out into a world that will dim him in any way—that might hurt him or possibly break him. Outwardly, he’s got a certain strength. A boldness or bravado I can’t quite quantify, but behind all of that, there’s a fragility and sweetness to him that makes me almost desperate to keep him close. Keep him safe.