Page 53 of On Burning Paths

“Is there… any way we could be unafraid?” Nyx asks, sucking in a sharp breath and tipping her head to the sky. “When my sister used to have attacks, when she struggled to breathe, from being shadow touched, Hilda would guide her through a meditation to calm her⁠—”

“It won’t work.” My mind supplies me with the image of my warlock team member. I tell them, flatly, the story of him magicking himself to be unafraid, breathing deeply. It wasn’t enough. The moment the beasts appeared, his concentration broke, the spell ended, and his fear flooded the forest.

If Nyx is thinking she might be able to use her magic, I want to dispel the notion without the others in the room learning her secret.

Silence falls upon our cave, with nothing but the sound of the waterfall cascading into the pool below. What an enchanting setting for our last conversation, for the last time I’ll see her alive.

Fuck.

“But what if the spell wasn’t something that could break?” Fenric asks slowly. He sits with his elbows on his knees, his gaze directed at the ground. He lifts it as he talks, words coming out more confident, “What if we could use something to ease the fear that didn’t rely on our concentration?”

“What in the hells are you talking about?” Talon snaps, and when I glance at him, I realize this situation is bothering him as much as it is me. The potential of losing Nyx and Fenric are getting under his skin.

“These.” Fenric pulls his hand from his pocket and reveals the Veridra berries from earlier.

“I told you, those—” But my words cut away when I realize what he’s saying. I stare at him, and at the berries that seem to pulse in his hand.

Yes. Yes, a person who drank a tonic made from those berries would not only stop feeling fear, they wouldn't feel anything but happiness and pleasure.

“I can make the drink.” I look first at Fenric, then Talon, then finally, at Nyx. But she’s not looking at me, she’s staring at the berries, too.

“They could kill you if you have too much,” I say, to which Talon mutters, “Good thing I’m already dead.”

I whirl on him. “They could drive you mad too. They’re not safe for mortals. Not safe for anyone who doesn’t have a god’s blood running through their veins. I have no idea what will happen if…”

“But we know what will happen if we don’t,” Nyx says, her voice even.

Turning to look at her, I cross my arms. “Nyx, these things are seriously powerful. You have to understand that they’ll wipe out the fear, but also…”

I swallow, thinking of every time I've wanted to reach for her and stopped myself. The restraint we're all showing around this connection between us. The things I've still not told them. If we have them, I could admit more than I plan to.

"If they work the way we're hoping," I say, "the dose has to be precise. Too much and it could kill us. Too little and it won't be enough to work." I pause. "And if they do work, we lose our inhibitions entirely. We could end up doing things we wouldn't otherwise choose to do. Dancing naked in the forest, or worse."

Nyx looks at each of us in turn, resolve settling across her face. "If we're all together," she says, "I'll be safe."

Berries or not, none of us would ever hurt her.

“I’m willing to do it,” Talon says, kicking away from the wall. “Even if it means you all will see my terrible drunk dancing.”

“Me, too,” Fenric says, staring at the berries in his palm. “But I’m a good dancer.”

“Bragger,” Talon teases.

“Thorian?” Fenric asks, holding the berries out.

A few seconds pass, and I nod. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect Nyx.”

Talon and Fenric second that, and I sigh, reaching down and scooping the little pile of berries from the berserker’s hand. “We’re going to need more than this. Talon⁠—?”

“On it,” he says, nodding.

“And, Fenric—” But he’s already digging into the knapsack, producing a rounded piece of wood he’s been using as a bowl for some days.

“Here,” he says, handing it to me and standing. “I’ll find a rock.”

Fenric disappears around the corner, Talon disappears out the front of the cave, and Nyx and I are left alone for a moment. I can still hear the skipping of her heart as she gets to her feet.

“Everything’s okay.”