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“How ’bout a double McTwist 1440?” he challenges.
I laugh. “I haven’t been on a half-pipe in seven months and you think I’m going to be able to bust out with that? You guys really do have me confused with Z. How about a 1260?”
Logan sighs heavily. “But you always do that one. You should try something new!”
“Yeah, so I can break my neck?” I joke before thinking better of it.
The second the words are out of my mouth, I want to call them back. Want to bury them. I’m such a fucking idiot. Logan didn’t break his neck, but he did sever part of his spinal cord—hence the irreversible paralysis. Could I get any more insensitive?
Except Logan doesn’t seem to make the connection. He just laughs along with Timmy—at least until he gets a look at my face. My guilt must be written there, because his smile fades and his eyes turn angry.
He opens his mouth to say something that I’m pretty sure will slice right through me, but Cam chooses that minute to walk up behind me. I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful for her intervention in my life.
And when she defends me, saying, “Dude, there really aren’t that many boarders in the world who can land a double McTwist 1260 let alone the 1440,” I know she heard the whole conversation and really has come to rescue me from my own stupidity.
Thank God.
“You know, I can’t,” she continues.
“That doesn’t count. No girl can do more than a 1080,” my brother tells her with an exaggerated eye roll. “Everyone knows that. You’re just not strong enough.”
“Oh, really?” Cam’s eyes turn to narrow slits. “How about we test out that theory, see how strong I really am? I bet I can kick your ass. That’s got to count for something.” She pretends to punch him in the stomach.
“Oooh, I’m so scared,” Logan mocks her. “You almost broke a nail on that one.”
“You should be scared, little man. I’m small, but I’m mighty.” She flexes her biceps, has both boys snorting with laughter. Then she lashes out again, this time lands a solid punch against Logan’s shoulder.
He jolts a little under the blow and I jump forward instinctively to steady him. “Hey! What the hell! Be careful!”
Cam looks at me in surprise. “I was just—”
“She was just playing, Ash!” Logan shoves my hands off his shoulders, glares at me. “I’m fine! Jesus, I’m not a total invalid, you know. I don’t need you to protect me every second of the day.”
“Of course I know that. I just—”
“Do you really? Because you treat me like I’m a little kid all the time. Like I’m going to fucking break if someone breathes on me wrong. And I’m not. I’m not so pathetic that I can’t still take a fake punch from a girl.”
“Hey, that was a real punch,” Cam interjects, trying to head off the fight I know she can see brewing. “I was trying to knock you over.”
Logan ro
lls his eyes. “Well then, you need to start hitting the weights, girl. Because that was pathetic.”
“Oh, yeah?” She steps forward, gets him in a headlock and starts messing up his perfectly styled hair while he laughs and pleads with her to stop.
It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to intervene, not to demand that she let him go, that she stop playing so roughly. Which is ridiculous, because this is Cam. She’s been here from the very beginning, has gone through everything right along with Logan and me. She knows what he can take. I know she does.
Not to mention the fact that if I say another word about it, Logan will take my fucking head off. And I’ll deserve it. It’s just hard to remember that he’s okay when I spend so much of my time worrying about something else happening to him. About something taking him away from me.
“Logan—” I start to speak, not sure what I’m supposed to say here, but knowing that I have to say something. I can’t just leave things like this.
Except he ignores me, even after Cam stops messing with him. He actually turns his back on me, refusing to so much as acknowledge my existence even as I stand there, trying to get in his face.
“Hey,” Tansy says, as she walks over to us. “I thought we were supposed to see some snowboarding this morning.” She looks inquiringly at Cam and me. “Whose turn is it?”
“Mine. I just want to—” I break off as she shakes her head at me, her eyes understanding but firm. I can tell from her expression that she heard the whole conversation, that—like Cam—she came over to keep me from tanking things even worse than I already have.
Unlike with Cam, I listen to her. I don’t know why. It’s not like we have any real history together, not the way Cam and I do. It’s just, there’s something about her expression, something about the look in her eyes that tells me she’s been where Logan and I are. And that she somehow has a road map to get me out of it, if only I’ll listen to her.
