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Fuck. She tastes as good as she did last night—all vanilla and brown sugar and sweet, sweet cream. I want to drown in her taste, in her scent, want to wrap it all around me and just wallow in it for a while.
Tansy moans a little, and I take advantage of her parted lips to tangle my tongue with hers. Her head falls back and I delve deeper, stroke the length of her tongue and along the inside of her cheek. I play with the sensitive skin behind her bottom teeth and the bumpy, slightly ticklish skin at the roof of her mouth. She gasps, laughs a little, but burrows even closer.
It’s all the invitation I need to kiss her harder, deeper. To tease and torment and tantalize her with memories of what I did to her last night. With promises to do the same, to do more, tonight.
We kiss for tens of minutes, for dozens of minutes, until she’s all that I can feel or smell or taste. Until everything that I am, everything I want, is tied up in her.
It feels good. So good, even with my hands shaking, and my cock is so hard that it hurts.
“Ash!” she gasps, ripping her mouth from mine. “Ash, please. I need—”
“I know, baby. I know.”
I roll us over then, so that she’s lying flat on the bed and I’m above her, resting on my forearms while my hips nestle between her legs.
Tansy’s eyes go wide even as her legs come up to tangle in mine, to wrap around my hips, and I can’t stop myself from moving against her just to see the way her crazy hazel eyes change from green to a desire-hazed brown.
“Oh, God,” she says as her body arches against mine. “I need—”
She breaks off again, just as she starts to tell me what she needs. Either she doesn’t know or she’s too embarrassed, and I find myself knocked a little off balance by either possibility. Or maybe it’s the suspicion that’s growing inside of me that throws me off, the one that tells me that no matter how unusual it feels for me to be this in tune with another person, that it’s even more unfamiliar to Tansy. Because—
“Tansy,” I say, lifting my head after what might very well be the most intense kiss of my life. Tansy’s lips are red, swollen, and for a second all I can think about is what it would feel like to have her deep-throat me. To shove my cock past those gorgeous, blow job lips of hers and blast straight down her throat.
There’s a wildness in the look in her eyes, in the hands clutching at my shoulders, that tells me she would let me. But there’s an innocence, too, a hesitance, that makes me wonder. That makes me ask what is probably a ridiculous question. “Tansy? Sweetheart?”
“Yes, Ash?” She sounds breathless, a little brazen and totally blissed out.
“I just need to know. You … I mean, have you done this before?”
She starts to turn her head, to look away from me, but I catch her chin between my thumb and index finger, force her to keep staring into my eyes. Which is why I see the embarrassment, the secret shame in the depths of her gaze that makes no sense to me at all.
At least not until she shakes her head and whispers, “No,” in a dark, husky voice that sends shivers running up my own spine.
“You’re a virgin?” I ask, incredulously, struck stupid by the very idea. I knew she was inexperienced, but there’s a difference between not having had much sex and not having had any sex at all. A girl who looks like her, who kisses like her … it’s a lot to wrap my head around.
“Is that a problem?” she demands, lifting her chin in a perfect impression of a haughty princess. I’m not sure why it makes me want her more.
“No.” I press kisses to her suddenly tense lips, over and over again until she relaxes. “Of course not. I just wanted to know.” Though there’s a part of me that thinks it is a problem. I’ve never been with a virgin before, not even when I was one.
“Yeah, well, now you know.”
Now I know. It doesn’t make me want Tansy less, doesn’t make me want her more, either. But it does make me determined to be very, very careful with her. To make tonight, and this thing between us, the very best for her that I possibly can.
Chapter 18
Tansy
God, could I look any more pathetic? Not only does Ash walk in on me watching porn, but now I tell him I’ve never slept with anyone? Ever? It’s amazing he’s not running for the door—or laughing his ass off.
Then again, he might be thinking
about doing just that. His kisses have suddenly become a lot softer, a lot more tentative, and I can’t help wondering if he’s pulling back because he doesn’t want me anymore now that he knows I’m not experienced.
I almost ask him, but I learned a long time ago not to ask questions if I don’t want the answers. That’s Survival 101 on the cancer ward at Primary Children’s. And while I know that keeping Ash with me is a far cry from life and death, that doesn’t mean I want to hear him tell me that he doesn’t want me again.
Not now, when his hand is sliding down my spine.
Not now, when his tongue is licking at my lips.
