Page 10 of A Chip on Her Shoulder

In some ways, that made me feel better. “Okay. So, the Egyptians are willing to tell me the identity of the divine who can help me, assuming I’m willing to pay the required price. I don’t suppose they’d be willing to help me find this divine?”

“Yes. That is part of the price for you to handle the matter for this child. You will be given a way to reach the divine who can help your brother. They have reason to believe you will be able to convince him, but it will not be easy. They cannot help you with that. Their relationship with him is rocky although somewhat tolerable.”

“Doesn’t that describe the relationships of most divines from differing pantheons?”

“I do not believe you understand just how much truth you speak.”

“That’s okay. I don’t need to understand. I just need to beat this divine until he gives me what I want.”

“In most cases, I would not recommend that course of action when dealing with a divine, but there is the potential that might work with him.”

“Seriously?”

“I am quite serious. As the divine in question does not surface often, you will need the appropriate power in order to survive where you need to go. One of the Egyptian divines will be providing that for you, although I have been asked to bestow that gift for you with a little help from Him.”

“He is willing to step in? For this?”

“Debts are important for Him, and He has a vested interest in this child’s life. One day, you will understand. As I am the relay for this agreement, it is in His interest to ensure all goes well.”

“Okay. This won’t kill me or anything, will it?”

“You will find it will have the exact opposite result.”

“Well, as I like living, please tell them I’m very appreciative of that.”

“I shall do so.”

“The divine. Which one is it? It seems rude to show up and just make demands.”

“Lucifer is the one who can help you.”

Shit. “You are a feathered freak. You told me I was going to hell because you knew the Devil is the only one who might be able to help me.”

“Yes. I certainly did.”

For a long moment, all I could do was stare in utter awe that someone with such a good, benevolent reputation could be that much of an asshole. “I think I could love you.”

Michael laughed. “I appreciate that, Darlene, but my good nature would inevitably drive you insane within a few hours of keeping company with me. I am pleased to help you with this task, as my fallen brother deserves everything you will do to him on your quest to restore your brother to a more appropriate form.”

“He’d like if I beat on him, wouldn’t he?”

“He is not called the Lord of Hugs. There is a reason for this. He is the Lord of Sin, the Lord of Lies, and the Warden of the Hells. You will find his sense of humor twisted at best. That is what an eternity of being the gatekeeper does to a soul. The Egyptians did not even whisper the hint of a lie on this matter. You have all of the tools in your possession to get what you want, with the exception of being able to fully survive in my brother’s many hells. He will help you with that on behalf of the Egyptians. After all, only He truly understands my brother’s full powers, and the Egyptians would not repay you for your help with your death.”

“Dying would not help my cause.”

“Precisely.”

“What time does this ship arrive?”

“It will reach the harbor in an hour, but it will be another two hours after that for someone to remember the child.”

I wasn’t sure who I hated more at that moment, the monsters who’d turned my brother into a chipmunk or the ones responsible for a baby’s misery. “And if I show up early to remind them?”

“That would lead to her being in your hands sooner, yes.”

Fuck it. “Get the cops off my back. I’ll go get the kid.”

“While I can do this, it would result in some of your brother’s crimes coming to light.”