Page 47 of A Chip on Her Shoulder

Was I? I took a few moments to consider that, too. “No, I just need you for the stuff I want to do. I saw you first, so they have to wait their turn, assuming I decide their turn will come. You agreed, so you’re stuck with it. You should be happy I’m a generous and kind woman. I let you have spots when you display a capacity for good behavior and general obedience. You’re happy I’m generous and kind, aren’t you?”

“I recognize when I can’t win this one. My answer is yes, I am happy you’re generous and kind to me and only me in regards to your spots. I’m a jealous being. I refuse to share the spots I’ve earned.”

“This is a bargain you have lost, brother.” Gabriel laughed at the Devil. “Keep a close eye on him, Darlene. He was never good at being obedient. I do not expect that to change now.”

“He’ll be obedient if he wants to continue enjoying access to any of my spots. I have retained rights to revoke access to my spots at any time.”

“She is a most cruel creature.” To my amusement, he continued his massage. “I do enjoy being bribed and coerced into obedience. It’s one of my many sins.”

Gabriel went to my brother’s cage, took off the lid, and captured Jonas, stroking his furry back. Wisely, my brother kept his teeth to himself. “This one will vex you greatly over the years. I thought you should know.”

“They always do. I am debating how best to handle the situation.”

“He will need to be quite durable to survive his sister’s temper. Do keep that in mind. She would become most distressed should something happen to her brother, no matter what unsavory forms of address she assigns to him.” Gabriel tucked his wings close to his back. “Darlene, I will take care to detoxify your home once the humans leave, although I will leave it to the humans to determine if any of their number came into contact with the toxin. They would do well to take every care.”

“Thank you, Gabriel. That’s kind of you. I appreciate it.”

“Of course. It is but a small matter, and acts of kindness such as this please Him. You are also keeping my brother amused, which means things are a little more peaceful than usual. For the moment. Things may become less than peaceful in the near future, but only a fool would expect any other result from this situation.”

Any other day, I believed the cops would have been thrilled to question me for hours, but I figured the presence of three divines unnerved them. The CDC representatives packed up the flowers and my envelope, hauling them outside in layered plastic bags. After Gabriel’s comment, I wondered how many would be poisoned before it was studied and contained.

No, I already knew the answer: too many. For the sake of my revenge, I didn’t give a shit I’d been poisoned.

Anyone other than me was too many people, and the archangel’s warning implied someone else would be sickened from the toxin. For all I knew, the Devil could be poisoned, although I doubted anything as mundane as mere poison would do anything other than annoy him.

No, I wouldn’t worry much for the Devil. He could take care of himself. Unlike me, I doubted anything could actually hurt him.

“You would be surprised,” Gabriel said, and it unnerved me I could feel the archangel staring at me despite his lack of a head.

“Has anyone ever told you that reading someone’s mind is creepy at absolute best?” I complained.

“Yes. It is amusing how unsettled humans become when they realize their thoughts are no longer private.”

I pointed at the Devil. “Why isn’t he listening in, then? Well, at least it doesn’t seem like he’s listening in.”

“He is not, unless he deems it to be important. Who knows what he deems to be important? My brother enjoys playing games, and your thoughts would bereave him of his enjoyment of the games he plays. He particularly finds satisfaction in the mystery you are, and he does not wish to ruin that. He is monitoring you for evidence of the toxin, but he is only listening whenever you attempt to remember someone’s name.”

“You’re an asshole,” the Devil announced.

Gabriel laughed. “You are annoyed because I speak the truth, and you do not wish her to know the truth for you think you are sly when you are, in actuality, rather pathetic.”

“Gabriel.” While Lucifer’s growl promised violent retribution, he continued to rub my back.

The cops, rather than try to ask me any more questions, fled from my home and closed the door behind them.

“Mortals,” the archangel muttered. “One little complaint out of you, and they flee.”

Michael sighed. “Limit the bickering for later, if you please—and even if you do not please.”

“Is it bad I know I can’t remember that one cop’s name?”

As one, the archangels shrugged.

“Let me rephrase that. Is the toxin progressing faster than you anticipated?”

“It progresses as anticipated,” Michael replied. “Within a few hours, you will remember only those who have had close ties to you. Your brother’s name will be the one you cling to the longest, but within the next eight hours, even his name shall be gone from your memories. Once that occurs, you will begin experiencing significant discomfort, and your general awareness of your surroundings will diminish.”

“Which is when I’d be most pliable so this Gallo asshole can take advantage of me.”