Page 64 of A Chip on Her Shoulder

Really, the Devil had some major malfunctions if he preferred my covered spots over her exposed beauty.

“For all eternity. Don’t tell the other succubi that, however. Their posturing amuses me, and Darlene needs a good look at their pettiness, so she is aware of precisely what she’s going to have to deal with.”

I needed to call the Devil’s brothers and have a talk with them about potential treatment plans for insanity.

Phenexia looked me over. “I need a raise if you think she’s going to compete with succubi on a mission to become your queen. There’s also the matter of her mortality.”

“That problem is being addressed.”

It was? I frowned, wondering just how he planned on addressing my mortality, although I’d done a fairly good job of avoiding death thus far.

“I’m really going to need a raise if we’re going to have two converts making a mess of the place. Also, you’re going to have a problem with the man upstairs.”

“I’ve been told it’s already been handled, and I resent I’ve been hoodwinked. I’ll be notified of what’s happening at a later time. I’m waiting for His leisure right now, and that annoys me.”

“He always annoys you,” Phenexia muttered.

“Yes, He does. And I particularly hate when I’m told to sit and wait patiently.”

“So, about my raise,” the succubus prompted.

“You would need to be paid to get a raise. You’re not paid. You do secretarial work because you hate getting bored, and you expect to be spoiled in exchange for your work. You don’t need to be paid because you get what you want without worrying about how you get it. Are you sure you’re ready to deal with all those annoying responsibilities mortals have to deal with? Maybe I should have Darlene teach you what it means to be mortal. You’ll have to play pretend at being mortal if you feel like seducing an angel and your human.”

Phenexia thought about it. “Perhaps, but that doesn’t address the issue of her competing with succubi.”

“She doesn’t need to compete. The winner has already been selected, and while they were posturing, she was nestled in my bed sleeping or rummaging through my closet. I’m talking about you, Darlene. Congratulations. I’m keeping you.”

I considered going back to bed to see if a few hours restored the Devil to sanity. “Are you crazy? Also, you’re skipping a few steps.”

“Yes,” he replied with zero evidence of shame. “I am absolutely crazy. I’m the Devil. I’m supposed to be crazy. You only have yourself to blame. You came into my home and took it over. I’ve just decided I’m accepting your offer of taking it over, so you’ve made the bed and you get to sleep in it.” He pointed at his bedroom. “That specific bed. I’ll be joining you in it often. Are the other steps important?”

I considered that, and careful not to lose hold of my drink, I pointed at a spot on the back of my left hand. “See that spot?”

“I do. It’s lovely.”

“That’s a gateway spot, but to obtain the gateway spot, you need to talk to your brothers and use both please and thank you in the same discussion. Ask one of them to bring me another coffee and use those words. This one isn’t going to last long enough for the show I was promised. The next spot you earn involves the missing steps.”

“You’re really going to make me use those dirty, foul words, aren’t you?”

“The gateway spot must be conquered before you can gain access to any other spots, so yes. I am. The witnessing portion of this must still happen, too. While Phenexia may have witnessed you use the word please, I missed it, so it doesn’t count.”

Phenexia’s brows rose. “I am both disturbed and seriously impressed.”

“She’s cruel.” The Devil captured my left hand and kissed my knuckles, and while there were spots on my knuckles, he didn’t pay them attention like he did when he was offered a spot for his enjoyment. “As you’re one of my more sensible succubi, Phenexia, do take care to monitor them for idiocy before you leave to join your triad.”

“I can do that. Will she need a suite prepared?”

“No. She’ll be staying with me, and while I will open rooms for her use, her residence is within my bedroom.”

As I could be an epic bitch, I concentrated and shifted, wincing at the flash of pain associated with banishing my fur and spots, leaving behind only my ears and tail. Overall, it went better than I expected, although my skin appeared paler than I thought it should be. Frowning, I freed my hand from the Devil’s hold, inspecting my skin. “Hmm. That’s not quite right.”

“It’s your untanned skin color,” the Devil explained. “You’re fine. You’ll tan again should you sunbathe for a while. My brother warned me you’d be paler.”

“Which brother?”

“Gabriel. Michael was summoned, so Gabriel got saddled with preventing a small apocalypse. To my disgust, Belial also helped with that.”

While vague, I remembered Belial pinning a demon to an unfamiliar floor. I concentrated, and to my pleasure, I conjured the devil’s name from my memories. “Alloces.”