Page 66 of A Chip on Her Shoulder

“I absolutely am.”

“Start with calling Gabriel and using your two filthy phrases to acquire me another iced coffee. Once my iced coffee is secured, I want that show I was promised.”

“Did I promise a show?”

I didn’t care if he’d promised a show or not. As the Lord of Lies, he surely understood the purpose of a lie, especially when the lie led me to enjoying a view of his perfect chest. “You absolutely did.”

“Must I use those foul phrases?”

“You must if you want that spot. If you don’t earn that spot, you can’t earn the next spot.”

“You’re ruthless.”

I shrugged. “You like it. Is there anything else about this lout I should know, Phenexia?”

“He has a voracious appetite once he decides to take someone to bed.”

“I don’t share,” I reminded the Devil. “I don’t care how voracious your appetite is. I will recruit your brothers, and we’ll have an apocalypse in your bedroom if you test me.”

“I’m going to test you because I like the look of jealousy on you, but as I don’t share, either, I’ll only do it explicitly to annoy you into attempting to create an apocalypse in our bedroom.”

“Is he serious?” I regarded the succubus with interest. “Perhaps we should do an exchange of information.”

“He’s serious. We succubi don’t tend to be too jealous outside of a triad or when there’s a child under foot. We pick our partners for a variety of reasons, although he’s a damned fine meal for one of us. He has more sexual energy than he knows what to do with, so should one of my sisters happen to land him permanently, he’ll feed her very well. But that comes with the price of his rather ridiculous amount of endurance and enthusiasm.”

“Why is that a problem? I have determined he is aware of what the word no means.”

“But will you really want to say no when he’s on a rampage?” Phenexia asked in an amused tone. “He’s something else during a rampage, but that comes with a price. He cannot tolerate straying. And then he sulks for weeks when we stray. We’re succubi. We’re supposed to stray.”

“Unless you’re with a triad.”

“Oh, the angels know we’re going to try to stray. That’s half the fun for them. They drag us home and keep us entertained. Incubi get more angels than us succubi, though. Human women tend to draw the attention of angels. That’s a cultural thing. There just aren’t as many men who have the purity of spirit and gentleness required to earn an angel’s love. A pity, really. Incubi get the better hunts, too.”

“Hunts?”

“Human women are typically repressed, so incubi have to work harder to warm their targets up—and it’s far more satisfying when our mortal partners desire us of their own accord. It’s a better feed. With Lucifer here, you won’t have to worry about that. He comes prepackaged with more desire than he knows what to do with most days, so he sulks.”

“He does seem to be very talented at sulking. At least he’s pretty when he sulks.”

“He really is. It’s why we put up with him. The competition isn’t really competition, so don’t worry about them too much. In reality, they don’t want to be picked because they know they’ll be run ragged, lose their freedom to dally with any male to cross their path, and won’t be able to have children in the future. That’s a lot to lose to be a queen, especially for a succubus.”

I already had a solution to that problem, and her name was Kanika. “They were in here in a pack.”

“Well, yes. We hate to lose.”

So did I. “Did he really say please twice?”

“He really did.”

I considered Lucifer with interest. “You still have to use both filthy phrases to one of your brothers where I can witness it, but you will get two spots for doing it, for having demonstrated your ability to use filthy phrases in decent company.”

“My brothers are hardly decent.”

“They’re archangels. They’re decent.”

“You are a most cruel and ruthless woman,” the Devil complained, tapping at his odd cell phone. “But very well. I am expecting two excellent spots.”

“All of my spots are excellent.”