Page 44 of Playing with Fire

Officer Calems snickered, slid behind the wheel, and started the cruiser’s engine. “No wonder you drive the chief crazy. You can’t help it, can you? I’m genuinely surprised he hasn’t gagged you yet. It’s so refreshing to see someone get on his nerves. Reminds us all he’s actually human.”

Great. I had a reputation for pissing Quinn off? Wait. That was a good thing. It dawned on me I couldn’t let anyone suspect there was anything going on between us. He’d never live it down, choosing to sleep with the crazy, scarred CDC chick. “Does he even know how to use his handcuffs? I thought they were decorations he used to convince people he’s actually a cop.”

“How is it possible for someone like you to have top-level certification?” Calems shook his head and backed the car out of its spot, and I remembered I needed to wear a seatbelt without anyone reminding me. Go me, acting like an adult for a change.

I decided the truth worked best since no one would believe it anyway. “Once upon a time, a woman went to a bar, got drunker than a skunk, forgot to take birth control, and got knocked up. Nine months later, yours truly was born, and the woman’s random hookup coerced her into marrying him using me as blackmail material.”

Ah, I loved the sound of stunned silence.

“Okay, only part of that is true. He didn’t coerce her into marrying him. Dear old Dad comes from a stuffy traditionalist family who doesn’t believe in abortion or adoption, so to avoid losing his inheritance or smearing the family name in the dirt, they claim it was love at first sight while they pretend the worst mistake of their lives was never born.”

Nope, I wasn’t bitter, not at all. I’d have to work on that. If I was going to use them as a shield, I’d have to at least try to sound cheerful about it.

“That… doesn’t explain how you ended up working for the CDC as a specialist.”

Since when had I gone from overpaid janitor to a specialist? “Since abortion or adoption Simply Wasn’t Done, I became known as the family disease, the ruiner of lives. It was great fun, especially when they took me to every single meet and greet of magical beings. They thought they’d solve their problem if they left me unattended near the gorgons’ tent, hoping they could pretend I was an actual statue and not petrified. Nope, no such luck for them. Too bad!”

There. I sounded a lot happier about the whole thing. Who knew I could actually sound so chipper?

“I can’t tell if you’re yanking my chain, and that’s really freaking me out, Gardener.”

I added Calems to my short list of people I actually liked. “They found me playing jumprope with the whelps and a few statues; a couple of humans had had the bright idea of trying to make a profit by kidnapping a few young gorgons. So, not only was I the unwanted daughter, I didn’t uphold the Gardener pure vanilla family values to their satisfaction. What sort of freak is immune to gorgons, anyway?”

Yep, I was totally bitter about the whole thing.

“Whoa. You’re really immune to gorgons? Not just their bile or dust?”

“Oh, piece of advice. Don’t let a gorgon bite you. It hurts like hell. That venom’s just plain nasty. Since I don’t petrify, I itch, and it makes me really, really pissy.”

“Good to know. Do I want to know the rest of this story? Why am I certain there’s a rest of this story?”

I chuckled. “That’s because you’re smart. And you do. You so do.”

“All right. Hit us with it.”

“I did it out of pure spite. They said it wasn’t proper. When that didn’t work, they told me I wasn’t smart enough. When that didn’t work, they swore I’d never amount to anything. That was when they told me if I was so sure I could do it, to get out and go do it, but to never bother them again. Top of my class, top-level certification later, I showed them.”

I sure had, and the one time I had made the mistake of asking them for anything, I still hadn’t been good enough for them. Why had I even tried? I blamed the fever.

“That’s impressive and terrifying. I could have sworn you worked as a barista.”

“Used to. I quit.”

I frowned. Wait. Why had Mary gone with Quinn and left me alone on that nightmare all-day solo shift? Damn it, I was supposed to be mad at him over that, not sleeping with him. Hmm. Maybe I could still sleep with him while pissed off? The idea would need to undergo a great deal of testing.

“If you’re looking for work, the coffee at the station sucks.”

Since reaching between the seats wasn’t possible thanks to the cage that kept criminals away from the cops, I forced my best smile. “You wish, Calems.”

A mile long trail of vomit lined with statues promised a lousy day of hard work was ahead of me. I suspected karma was somehow at play. Since I had glimpsed the heavens through Quinn and his sinful touch, I just had to get kicked out and suffer through hell. “Is it premeditated murder if I kill those gorgons after I finish cleaning up their mess?”

I had completed four years of education so I could hand scrub a sidewalk with neutralizer while drunk gorgons rolled around in their own vomit. My cheek twitched. Why did gorgons have to look so damned close to humans? Except for the gray-green cast and snakes for hair, they came as close to human as the truly magical species got. With some makeup and a good hat, some even passed as human until they made eye contact.

“Yes, Gardener. You lost your chance for a basic manslaughter charge about five minutes ago,” Calems replied.

Officer O’Daniel wagged his tail while his tongue lolled out of his mouth.

I sighed. “Stay with the car, wear sunglasses, don’t get bit, and try to look cool or something. Please tell me the CDC sent some supplies until they could send a truck.”