Page 104 of Hoofin’ It

I blamed the CPD’s lawyer for my reaction to the thought of becoming a species Dad would happily eat given an opportunity.

Satisfied with my brief examination, I turned my attention back to the chaos around Michietti’s. I spotted Pierina in the entry, her arms crossed over her chest, every inch of her stiff. She faced off against a member of the CPD, a man I didn’t know, and her elongated fangs peeked out between her lips whenever she spoke.

Maybe Pierina wouldn’t recognize my body, but her heightened senses as a vampire might help her recognize my smell since the canal stench still clung to my fur. After several strides, I figured out how to run without tripping over my own paws, although I bounced more than I ran. When I reached her, I panted to catch my breath, eyeing her legs. I decided to give climbing a shot, and I clawed at her clothes so I could reach her shoulder.

The vampire jumped, squealed, and made it halfway to Upper Chicago before landing in a crouch, which made it easier to reach my goal. Stretched out, I was long enough to span her shoulders, and I clung to her jacket with my paws. Instead of questions, she got an earful of squeaks.

The cops pulled their guns, and I stiffened, watching them while wondering if they’d be bold—or stupid—enough to fire a weapon at Ernesto’s daughter.

“Put those away,” Pierina snapped, lifting her hand to touch my head. “Haven’t there been enough loud bangs at my establishment today?”

I supposed an explosion counted as a loud bang.

“That animal—”

“Does it look like he’s biting me? Does it look like he’s attacking me? Don’t be an idiot. He just came up to say hello. He’s been a very naughty little child.” Pierina flicked me with her finger. “Bad. Ask before you jump up.”

At an utter loss of what game Pierina was playing, I did the first thing to come to mind. I bit the hell out of her hand. The vampire hissed at me.

I squeaked around a mouthful of her dry, leathery skin.

“Yes, it does look like he’s biting you, ma’am,” the cop replied.

Pierina snagged me by the scruff of my neck with her other hand and peeled me off her shoulders. I dangled in her grip. With two firm but gentle shakes, she forced me to release my hold on her hand. “I tire of this. Where are the werewolves?”

The cops flinched but pointed along the canal. Pierina huffed and strode away, leaving them spluttering in her wake. When we were out of earshot, she looked me in the eye. “You’ve scared your mother into her first shift. I hope you’re satisfied with yourself. I’m certain you scared at least a decade off my lifespan. How is it you managed to not only fall into the canal but also slip through the one section that didn’t hold? I was certain I’d be delivering the news of your demise to my father, thus breaking his shriveled heart.”

Since I had one mode of communication open to me, I squeaked.

“Your lady friend wasn’t quite as lucky as you, but she’s tough and emerged with only a broken wrist. She protested, but they carted her away to the hospital. I sent my brother with her as a guard. We thought you’d be rather angry if we left her alone.”

I clapped my paws together to sign my approval.

“For your sake, I’m grateful you seem to be aquatic. Your father has your mother mostly contained, although if she starts howling again, I’ll lose my temper.”

Almost two blocks away beyond a curve effectively blocking their view of Michietti’s, my father in his hybrid form loomed over a smaller red wolf. He held my mother in place with one of his clawed hands on the scruff of her neck while she whined and struggled in his grip.

“I come bearing a gift,” Pierina announced, holding me out in front of her. “It seems this youngling has a lucky horseshoe crammed somewhere. If you can get your lady wolf somewhat restrained—or preferably back to human—I recommend you take him to his lady friend so she might educate him on how to shift back. First shifts are so troublesome.”

Dad reared back, released my mother, and snatched me out of Pierina’s hand so fast I squeaked my alarm and struggled in his grip. He breathed wolf breath all over me and, with a croon, stroked his tongue over my face.

I wasn’t sure which was worse: corpse stew or wolf slobber.

Either unwilling or incapable of speaking English, my father snarled, jumped back to my mother, and dropped me between her front paws. I squeaked and stood, but not in time to prevent Dad from pinning me in place so my mother could have a turn bathing me with her tongue.

Enduring a tongue bath from Dad when I was human was bad enough, but Mom’s head was bigger than I was. I let out a displeased yip, twisting around so I could glare at Dad for daring to hold me hostage. Dad bared his teeth and snarled.

Okay, then. Letting the werewolf win seemed the wisest course of action, since at a fraction of their size, they could gulp me down in one or two bites. They wouldn’t—probably—but I’d already tested my luck enough for one day, so I shut up and suffered through wolf slobber in silence.

Chapter Thirty

Despite a hefty dose of xenophobia when lycanthropes were involved, the CPD didn’t need long to clue in the two raving werewolves had quieted their snarls and gone from infuriated to calm and deceptively docile. Fortunately, Pierina understood my parents’ nature and intervened before any of the cops could get too close to me.

Explaining to idiots why it was stupid to come between a mated pair of lycanthropes and their child took the vampire several minutes, but the cops stayed back, my parents stayed calm, and Mom finally decided she’d had enough of licking me and decided to use me as a pillow.

It hurt. Lacking the ability to speak, I vocalized my discomfort with a whine.

“He’s probably bruised,” Pierina interpreted. “It’s a long way down the slide to the bottom, and since he didn’t have an escort with him when he climbed out, he made the trip alone. You may want to be gentle with him—and call in someone from the CDC to have a look at him.”