Page 125 of Hoofin’ It

“Unvarnished truth it is. It’s simple. The police didn’t want a no-talent lycanthrope’s son on the force—not in the public eye at least. They used me to tick two boxes off their anti-discrimination list, but they wanted me out of the way and to work at cheapest price bracket possible. When I lost my eye, the department worked with my insurance company to screw me over. They made sure I didn’t qualify for a functional eye—or even a realistic imitation. Now, granted, I rather like the all-blue one. It’s different enough to be interesting, but I’ll be honest with you. It’s a piece of shit. I’m pretty sure a mass produced marble would be higher quality, but they don’t fit my socket.”

I had tried.

“I see. I have heard they do not like the moon swayed in the above world, but it is not a concern of my hive. It is a pity humans have not changed their ways.”

Moon swayed made lycanthropes sound nicer, gentler somehow, although I knew the truth of the infected and those transformed by the virus’s magic. Dad could—did—rip metal apart with his claws, and on the hunt, he frightened everyone, myself included. But he was still my father, and he was always welcome to guard my back.

“Lycanthropy has its disadvantages, but there’s no one more loyal than a werewolf. My father is one. He’d infected my mother before I was born. I grew up believing I was resistant to the virus. In Chicago, exposure to lycanthropy flags you for life as a possible contagion risk—a danger to the public. There was a mark on my badge declaring my exposure status. Add in my magic rating, and I remained at the lowest tier of the department, and only luck got me on the streets at all.”

“And this led you to New York, where you met your mate.”

“I was standing beside the car when the body fell on it, close enough to get sprayed with a lot of blood. While I called 911, I put the car in park. The white, fluffy alpaca in the back seat didn’t like me and showed her dislike for me by spitting. She hit three of the cops that came to the scene and annoyed one into pulling a gun on her. I got in the way, stopped them from shooting her, and claimed custody so she wouldn’t be put down.”

Abil Ili hissed, but I waved his anger away with a hand. “They had no way of knowing she was human. To them, she was just an animal. To me, too, but I was brought up better than them. I figured I could take her to my parents’ place, keep her for the mandatory time, then find her a good home. So, that’s what I did. I went home to Lincoln, Nebraska, and I took her with me. By the time I got there three days later, I’d decided I was going to keep her. She was soft, warm, devilishly cute, and had better manners than my father most days, especially once she stopped spitting on me. My mother decided to name her Sally.”

Talking was more tiring than I expected; I pilfered some more of the berries to give myself a chance to catch my breath. Marian made a soft sound in her throat and pressed the back of her left hand to my forehead. “Do you want me to take a turn?”

I waved my hand and let her decide what I meant.

“His parents have two horses, and they had made a stall for me. I… hadn’t expected a lycanthrope, especially not one as rambunctious as Shane’s father. I thought we were both going to get eaten before I realized he was just excited to see his puppy. After an evening of watching Shane wage war against his parents—a fun war, involving the shearing of a lycanthrope male who overstepped his boundaries—Shane slept in the barn with me. Unbeknownst to Shane, his parents camped in the barn after he’d fallen asleep.”

I should have known. Sighing, I shook my head. “Damn them, terrorizing you like that.”

“I played dead. It seemed to work. They weren’t willing to wake you up, but they weren’t willing to leave you alone, either. I thought it was sweet.”

Of course Marian would. She was a tricky woman.

“Anyway, the next day, Shane’s parents went to work. They’re both police officers, though they have different partners. Shane decided to return the rental van and took me with him. The rental place wasn’t too far from his parents’ home, so we were going to walk back.”

“We were hoofin’ it back,” I corrected in my gravest tone.

Quinton laughed and tossed a second bunch of the devil berries at me. “Your Nebraska is showing.”

“Fine. We were hoofin’ it back when Mark O’Conners, a member of the New York Italian mafia, pulled up, shot Shane twice, and took me. I thought Shane had been killed, since he’d been caught completely flat-footed and wasn’t armed. He dropped hard and fast, and there was a lot of blood.”

“My turn,” I murmured, picking up the berries the vampire had thrown and handing them to Marian. “I woke up in the ER, where I was treated by a surgeon they brought in from Des Moines. My father donated blood, which gave me regeneration on par with a lycanthrope—not the expected result. I think they expected some help with recovery, but not anything to the level I got. So, instead of spending several weeks in the hospital, between Dr. Harting and Dad’s blood, I escaped the next day. I headed home where my godfather intercepted me. A neighbor had gotten it into his head I shouldn’t be left alone.”

Marian snickered, but she didn’t elaborate, much to my relief.

“Lewis, my godfather, decided to chase down my parents, because he was worried they would begin mass murdering anyone involved in my shooting if they got a hold of them. Which is true, because it’s essentially suicide to hurt a werewolf’s puppy. We followed them to Des Moines, and after a bit of planning, I was designated the sacrificial lamb to check out the nightclubs to see if any of them looked like they could be a part of a sex trafficking operation. I struck gold on my first try, and with a little help of fifteen hundred dollars, a good bottle of Scotch, and proof I wasn’t from the area, I got a front row seat to a sex party and a beautiful blond named Sally on my lap for the show.”

“Lucky man,” Quinton muttered.

I grabbed a devil berry and tossed it at him. “Quiet, you.”

“I took his virginity in a show hosted by a succubus and an incubus. He was very enthusiastic, and I appreciated his performance and wanted to keep him—permanently, especially since he’d already stepped in front of a gun for me, gotten shot twice for me, and was this disgustingly nice guy. Disgustingly nice guys are very rare on the singles market. Not only had I claimed his virginity, I had a chance to claim his firstborn as well. Wasn’t letting that chance go by.” Marian sniffled.

“You bit me because I got mouthy with you,” I reminded her.

“All the more reason to keep you around. I like your mouth.”

“So, she bit me, I was worried I’d infected her with lycanthropy, only to discover I’d already burned out the virus. That oddity got me a trip straight courtesy of the CDC to Chicago for testing. The tests ate up a solid day, after which I went home. Life happened for a while, then I learned I was a suspect in Mark O’Conners’ murder. However, as I couldn’t be at the CDC being tested at the same time I was killing the guy who shot me near my parents’ place, I was exonerated. That whole mess led to the CDC and the CPD and my insurance company getting into a court battle over the replacement of my eye and medical care.”

“I can give you reports and recordings of the entire trial,” Quinton offered. “It’s a pleasure to watch, and I think you’ll learn a lot from it. Anyway, the trial kept him busy for a few weeks, during which Shane was closely monitored by Papa, the CPD, and the CDC. Papa and the CDC wanted to make sure nothing happened to him while the CPD wanted him to dig a grave for himself.”

“Yeah, they tried to nail me on the nationwide concealed carry permit Marian arranged for me. That tactic didn’t work.”

“It did, however, present an interesting issue.” The vampire sat up, grabbing one of the red kiwis from the tray. “After Gibby returned to his home with Marian, Papa visited him, and the CPD kept showing up. What was it, six pairs of officers over several hours?”