Page 84 of Hoofin’ It

“I’m about to get bit again, aren’t I?”

“You’re learning.”

“When do I get to bite back?”

“You did last night.”

I really wished I remembered that.

“Shane, you didn’t!” Mom smacked me with a pillow again. “I taught you better than that.”

“He was supposed to. It was a completely provoked biting.” Marian chuckled. “It’ll heal eventually, I’m sure. What do I have to do to embarrass your parents enough they leave, Shane?”

“Not sure it can be done.” I waited for Mom to beat me with my pillow again, grabbed it out of her hand, and shoved it over my head. “We should go to bed. Maybe they’ll get bored and leave. Boredom sometimes makes them go away.”

“They came all the way to Chicago. I’m not sure that’ll work.”

“We could run away together.” I thought about it, liking the idea more and more. Quiet time in a nice hotel room sounded appealing. “I’m sure Ernesto can keep my parents busy for a few hours.”

“We could probably reach the airport before they escaped. But that presents a problem.”

“What?”

“If we leave, we can’t kneecap him.”

I had, with one visit to the brothel, created a monster. “That’s true.”

Dad coughed to catch my attention, and when I didn’t acknowledge him, he cleared his throat several times. “I think you have some explaining to do, Shane. Get your ass off the couch, sit at the table with your woman, and have your coffee.”

“I have a name, you know.”

“I’m sure you do. It might even be a nice one. When I’m interested in knowing your name, I’ll ask for it.”

I grabbed the pillow, aimed, and fired at my father. It fell short a few feet; I blamed the combination of my half-blind state and exhaustion. “Be nice to Marian. If you drive her away, so help me, I’ll shear you for your fur every day for the rest of my life.”

Giggling, my mother clapped her hands. “Fur grows back, and if you’re going to do that, you’ll have to live nearby.”

“After your first shift, you’ll be joining him.”

“I just said fur grows back.”

No matter what I did, I couldn’t win. Sighing, I rolled off the couch and dragged my ass to the table, slumping onto the second seat with a tired groan. Dad passed me a mug and headed for the couch, probably to ensure I couldn’t escape out the front door. Leveling an accusatory stare at Marian, I took my first sip.

Coffee tasted so much better than hot water.

“Go ahead and say it,” she invited.

“How are you so damned awake?”

She laughed. “I’m pretty sure it’s because I ate less of the sushi than you. If I’d known they’d spiked the sushi, I wouldn’t have kept giving it to you. I really should’ve figured it out. Logically, there’s no way either one of us should’ve been that energetic.”

“Point,” I conceded.

A knock at the door made me sigh. Mom and Dad seeing me so damned tired and rumpled was bad, but I really didn’t want to entertain any other unwelcome guests. Instead of reading my mind and ignoring the door, Mom got up and cracked it open. “Who’re you?”

“CPD,” Michelle said. “Is Shane in?”

“Come on in,” my mother replied. Michelle wasn’t alone, and the instant Stripes spotted my father, still in his hybrid form, he yelped and bolted.