Page 29 of Murder Mittens

“Hey, whichever brother of mine you are. I need a favor.”

“Already? Didn’t you just leave this morning, Harri?” My brother laughed. “I’m Alex, the best of your brothers.”

It took me a moment to remember that Alex was one of the more troublesome and overprotective of my eldest brothers. “Ah, the bane of the first litter. All hail the bane of the first litter. So, a favor. Can I call one in?”

“What do you need?”

Alex had some mercy on me, so I might survive the next few hours. “I am weak, and I found a sewing machine I can’t live without. The sewing machine comes with a manly lycanthrope who has volunteered to help me haul it home. As such, at some ridiculous hour tonight, I am returning home with my new sewing machine and my lycanthrope. I am leaving the sewing machine, where it won’t even be scratched, and I’m resuming my trip with my manly lycanthrope.”

“Could you repeat that?”

“Which part?”

“The manly lycanthrope part.”

I snickered. Some lies were easier to tell than others, and I’d get away with my fibbing because it classified as so crazy it just had to be true. “Did you really think I was going to Cincinnati to a spa for a week, with the intention of being all by my lonesome?”

“Uh, yes. Yes, we did. Because the last time a wolf came over, he flinched. You didn’t cry that time, but we could all see the heartbreak in your eyes. As such, we beat the wolf once you couldn’t catch us beating the wolf for hurting your feelings. You haven’t tried to meet any men since.”

“I did actually cry. For five whole minutes, just like I do every time a wolf runs away after flinching. Mostly because I was angry, but my tender, fragile heart was definitely broken. You were wrong, but the sewing machine is a problem, and now I have to lug it home before I take my lycanthrope to the spa. Where I will do whatever I want with him.”

Sebastian poked his head through the door. “Are you aware you’re being rather loud, Wells?”

“I’m nervous because I don’t want them to kill the only damned male cat in the fucking United States so blind he doesn’t flinch at my face.”

“Scars are sexy,” he replied before returning into the store.

Meow. “Apparently, I’m being loud, Alex.”

“You are being loud, and I see your friend has correctly identified one of your many issues, my dear little kitten of a sister. However, I didn’t want to hear some male lycanthrope comment that he thinks scars are sexy, because that means I know exactly what he’s going to be doing with my little sister.”

“He’s male, he’s a feline, and he doesn’t flinch. However, he’s not a lynx. I had to compromise. He has been exposed to me numerous times without flinching, he’s male, and he willingly got into Daddy’s truck upon request. I didn’t even have to use much force. I did annoy him, but that’s only because I like annoying him.”

“I can’t tell if you’re wanting me to encourage or discourage you, Harri.”

“Encourage. Remember what happened with the lynxes? Because I do.”

“Well, that’s obvious. The weak ass male lynxes who aren’t in our clan cried when they saw your face. You got pissed and beat the shit out of them while a lynx. There may have been some crying from you involved, but we never actually acknowledge when you cry over lynxes. There isn’t a single male lynx on this entire continent who’ll pay you a visit because they know what you’ll do to them should they flinch when they see your face. And they always do. And unlike when Mom goes after Dad, there is no kissing or making up afterwards.”

“Well, if they hadn’t treated my face like it’s a horror show, I wouldn’t have kicked their asses.” I hissed over the reality of the situation. “I just piss this lycanthrope off, and I like when I do it, so I go out of my way to piss him off. It turns out he likes it, too, and he’s now following me around. And since he doesn’t flinch over my face, I don’t mind. At all. I will mind if my family beats on my lycanthrope.”

“I see. So, how much are we allowed to beat him?”

“You wreck his suit, and I’m going to mess up all those pretty faces. We clear?”

My brother chuckled. “I have an audience, and I’ve never seen so many hopeful people in one space before. How did you go from heading to Cincinnati to buying a sewing machine?”

“Well, you know I like to crochet sometimes, right?”

“Yes. You made Mom a blanket for Christmas, and she cried because her little kitten had made her something, and it was simple but very nice. You made Dad a blanket the year before. For some reason, Hugh and Harvey got blankets from you first. The rest of us have been crying ourselves to sleep every night because our sister won’t make us blankets.”

I rolled my eyes at my brother’s antics. “If I made a blanket for each of you, I would never get anything else done. Like work. And you know what happens when I don’t eat, Alex. I get mean.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Well, I wanted to make a blanket for me. And then I decided I should make baby blankets for the new litter, too. And the male feline I picked up came in and helped me pick up the yarn.”

“Wait. He went into a yarn store with you?”