Page 36 of Murder Mittens

Unless he said no, I would be saying yes, and my willingness to evict myself from the eligible pool of single female lycanthropes appeased my virus. She waited, her eagerness warming me from within.

Unless Sebastian refused to breathe or otherwise completely ignored his nose, he knew exactly what I hoped for.

I didn’t want to think about what would happen if he rejected my advances, however awkward and inexperienced I was at displaying interest in hearing him roar for a reason other than pure frustration.

“The building has to survive whatever happens tonight,” I informed him. “This is important to me, as while this is basically the equivalent of a nice shack, I don’t pay much rent on it, and I don’t think I can afford to replace it should we destroy it.”

“I’m sure we can figure something out that doesn’t involve the destruction of your home. Despite the reputation lycanthropes have, we are entirely capable of reason. We’re also capable of not destroying everything around us when we’re engaging in certain activities with prospective mates. Or just mates. And since lions can be very noisy, my father saw fit to teach my brothers and I the finer points of being quiet before, during, and after successful seductions of our women.”

“But why would I want you to be quiet? You roar.”

On that, my virus and I were agreed. I needed a roar out of him, and I needed one soon.

“I will be sure to give you at least one roar tonight,” he promised. “But seriously, we were taught because human women are fragile compared to lycanthropes, and the last thing we want to do is hurt our mate during a claiming, and until the virus has replicated enough to allow her to heal faster, we need to be careful, so my father made sure we know how to be gentle in bed. He also gave us a variety of tips and tricks on how to be gentle but excessively satisfying.”

“Wait, excessively satisfying? How is that possible?”

“Once, my father made my mother pass out. And at the time, my mother’s virus had fully taken root, she was well beyond her first shift, and she was well aware of his wily ways. Yet he managed to make her pass out. Let’s just say my father is an excellent example of what all men should strive to be like. I do not have my father’s experience, but I plan to make up for my lack of experience through extensive practice and enthusiasm. And I’m a lion. That helps. I’m a shifting lion who has been exercising more patience than I like the past few years.”

“Oh.” I stared at him with wide eyes. “What a way to go. That would be pure tragedy, to be killed in such a way. But what a way to go.”

“My mother asks for a repeat. Often. Usually when my brothers and I are visiting, as she feels we’re too easily embarrassed. He refuses, mainly because he was initially afraid he’d hurt her. Now she only complains he hurts her by not giving her a repeat performance, and he wants to save such evenings for when they’re planning to add to the family again.”

“I really don’t want to cut into my savings repairing this place, but I’m siding with your mother on this one.”

“Fortunately for you, I have brought handcuffs, and if you have rope, I won’t even need to misuse any of the yarn. However, I will be using some of your quilting supplies, as ropes aren’t good for your skin. While my brothers are more inclined to immediately indulge in their wild side, I’m far more methodical than they are.” Sebastian chuckled and got out of the truck.

Much like a lost puppy seeking attention, I followed him. “I’m the definition of inexperienced, so don’t get your hopes up. I am not under any delusions about my general prowess. Or having any prowess at all. And honestly? I’m not sure how I’m going to cope with any form of nudity. I do not own a bathing suit, Sebastian. Unless you run away, I’ll be scoring a grand slam during my debut as a lady of the night. Assuming I don’t run away. I might. I have never been in this position before.”

The lion laughed. “Lady of the night? Don’t I have to pay for you to count as a lady of the night?”

He made a good point. “Two words, Sebastian: vintage Singer.”

“We have joint custody of the Singer, so it doesn’t count. That was as much of a gift for me as it is a gift for you. More importantly, your scars aren’t going to make me run away, although if you’re not ready because of them, then we wait. If you need me to be patient, I’ll be patient. If you need me to be impatient, then I’ll be that. I am not experienced, but I am fairly educated, I take pride in being smart, and my father made it clear if he ever caught wind of one of his sons not treating a woman right, we would be skinned alive, castrated, disowned, and tossed into a vat of acid. I’m sure we’ll, through extended mutual exploration, discover what we enjoy. And anyway, women aren’t cookie cutter creatures. Men aren’t, either. Every woman likes and dislikes different things. The key, according to my father, is that a good man takes the time to discover what those things are. A good woman does the same.”

“Was your father born a lycanthrope?” My father had made a point of teaching all of my brothers—and me—one and done was probably how our love life would work out, but the careful use of condoms and the abstinence from all forms of oral sex might allow us to sleep around before settling down.

I had enough problems finding a single man who could handle my face with grace.

“Yep, but he was more promiscuous than normal. He was careful about using condoms, and he kept his adventures to pre-shift lycanthropes until he met my mother, who wasn’t infected. She wanted a lion, so she caught one. I haven’t figured out why she picked my father, but I’m grateful for her excellent taste in men. My father considers me the reject of the family, as I’ve opted against following in his footsteps and making use of condoms to get in extra practice with many women. That said, I always carry condoms with me, just in case.”

I snickered and led the way to the front door, unlocking it and debating if I was ready for someone other than my family to see inside. Considering my virus really wanted me to get to the stripping part of the evening activities, I’d be an idiot to stand on the doorstep debating my options. “My dad tried condoms once with my mother. They destroyed the condoms. Tore them to ribbons, apparently. Condom manufacturers did not anticipate lycanthrope endurance when making their products. The condoms did not prevent the ninth litter from making an appearance. Apparently, my complications were enough that my parents looked into, rather unsuccessfully, methods of limiting the number of kittens until I was a little better off.”

I unlocked the door, opened it, and gave a cursory glance to make sure all was as I’d left it before gesturing for Sebastian to come inside. My shoes went into the pile near the door, and I hung my purse on the coat rack. “Make yourself at home, but try not to think too poorly of me for living far below my means. My day job can afford this, so I cater to my family’s expectations.”

Sebastian followed my lead, took off his shoes, and removed his suit jacket, hanging it up on the rack. The jacket had hidden a shirt that clung to his chest.

According to his chest, someone worked out to keep up with the bounty hunters he handled. In my case, would soon manhandle. “Are you hiding muscles underneath that thin cloth, Mr. Mane?”

“I absolutely am. Lions look at gym equipment and develop muscles. To add to this, I actually go to the gym because I need to use brute force during sketchy situations at work. When I found out I’d be handling you, I started going to the gym daily, as I expect to need to use a lot of brute force in the field, especially should I successfully complete my plans for this evening. A lion’s strength is a factor in my father’s education for us to be gentle. As a result, none of my brothers have ever broken a condom accidentally. However, it’s a rite of passage for them to break them intentionally to show their new mates how much they were holding back on their quest to be courting gentlemen rather than sex-crazed animals.”

“Why do I have a feeling meeting your family is going to be equally chaotic to the shitshow you got to watch tonight? Honestly, I’m disappointed I didn’t get to watch them fight you. But I guess my father gave you a good demonstration of how my brothers treat people who are mean to me. Flinching counts as being meant to me.”

“Yes, I was rather amused and slightly alarmed over how your father managed to goad the entire lot of them into attacking him. Also, I’m now convinced I know where your ability to pick a fight with many at one time and win comes from. That’s how you’ve been tussling with your family since you’ve been little, isn’t it? You’ve been fighting your brothers all at one time, so you’re practiced at dodging attacks from multiple sides. Although, I will admit I’m surprised they would even fight with you.”

“I gave them a choice. They could put up a good fight or get an even worse beating. And if they fought well enough, I’d purr a little. I can manipulate my entire clan with a single purr.” I rarely did so, as I hated the masquerade, which meant I only purred when I meant it—or Sebastian roared at me.

“I will never judge them for being manipulated by your purrs. I’ve turned making you purr when I roar into an art. I have you trained now. If I roar, you purr. Under any circumstances. You’ll hear me roar, and because you have been so conditioned to purr at the sound of my roar, you will do so without thinking about it.”