Page 29 of License to Kill

Had I not remembered the past so well, I would’ve believed Pauline liked me, but the truth wore away at me as always. She cared only for her puppy, and she believed that I was a mistake.

Or at least that was what I believed, and she hadn’t gone out of her way to prove me wrong.

To Pauline, Amelia would be the solution to all of her problems, a suitable replacement for what I might have been if I’d been a little less fox and a little more wolf. To hide my dismay, I said, “Don’t get caught in a building with a bunch of tangoes next time, then I won’t have to raid the building with guns blazing.”

“My son is quite offended you accused him of flirting with an unmated bitch.”

I scowled and turned my head. Everything offended Jake, although it wasn’t like him to be offended over the truth. “He shouldn’t have been flirting with her, then. He shouldn’t have come home smelling like other women, either.”

That made the woman hesitate before she said, “Ah. You’re jealous.”

I was, and it wasn’t for the reasons she thought, but I lacked the courage to tell her the truth. I liked Amelia. I missed Jake.

They’d be good for each other, after I made myself scarce and gave them space. I’d heard them talking.

Wolves belonged with wolves, and wolves didn’t really know how to handle a fox like me, an unknown—someone outside of their prized pack bonds.

My need to know drove me into asking, “Are you going to bring her into your pack?”

“We already have.”

It hurt, but I nodded and focused my gaze on the window, which was covered with heavy, dark drapes. “That’s good.”

If Jake’s mother used her nose and hunted for a lie, she wouldn’t find it. Amelia had been too long without a pack, and I wasn’t going to hate her for what I couldn’t have. I meant it, no matter how much it hurt.

She deserved to be happy, and maybe she could fix what I’d broken beyond repair.

“You should get some rest. The nurse should be by in a few hours. I should make sure Sebastian or our son isn’t causing any trouble.”

“Does the window open?”

“Want some fresh air?”

I nodded.

Jake’s mother circled the bed, pulled back the drapes, and opened the window. To my relief, I was on the ground floor, and while the screen would get in the way, it opened enough I could slip out as a fox as soon as I was left alone for a few minutes.

Maybe I would never be good enough to be in a pack with wolves, but I’d learned the trick to shifting on my own with some help from Amelia. With Amelia safe in a pack, I could resume where I had left off and truly disappear.

Pauline left me and closed the door behind her. Once again, I was alone, and the weight of solitude smothered me.

It didn’t matter if I stayed or went. Nothing would change.

I was the wrong species, and because of it, I’d always be alone.

Instead of shifting and running, I stared out the window and did nothing at all. I was aware of doctors and nurses coming in and out of the room, but it was too much work to acknowledge them, and when I remained silent, they left me alone.

The sun went down, and a light rain pattered beyond the window.

Stay or go? It took too much work to pull out the catheter and slip away as a fox, but the alternative didn’t leave me any happier. It shouldn’t have surprised me Amelia would end up part of the pack. I wanted to blame her, to feel something—anything—other than empty at the realization she’d gotten what I needed just on virtue of being the right species.

Worse, Jake would like her. She was everything he liked with the extra benefit of being the right species. Amelia had sworn up and down Fenerec mated for life, and that no one could compete with me for his attentions, but I didn’t believe it.

She’d figured I’d been claimed property from the start, although she agreed there was something odd about my scent. Her theory offered hope if I could find the strength to grasp it.

My species mattered.

She’d claimed her wolf believed me to be mated, and that was all that mattered to her.