Page 31 of License to Kill

“You’ve already given up.”

“It didn’t take them long to accept her.”

“No, it didn’t.”

“And he likes her.”

“He does like her, but not in the way you likely believe.”

“I spent all last night thinking it’d be nice to just become a fox, jump out the window, and leave. Maybe find some place to claim as a territory, and just go day to day. Be done with it.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“It was too much work,” I confessed.

“What do you think becoming a fox and running away would accomplish?”

“Absolutely nothing, but it would be better than this.”

Anything would be better than the nothing I currently had.

“Of all of my patients, you are one of my favorites. Why? No matter how bad things get, you remain honest. You don’t try to sugarcoat anything for me. You don’t even try to hide what you’re thinking. You’re an open book, and you’re an open book by choice. I’ve seen you bottle things like the best of them. But when we’re talking, you lay it all out. You have no fear of me.”

I shrugged. “It seems pointless to waste your time. You’re here to help, and you can’t help if I don’t talk to you.”

“Pauline and Sebastian will always put their pack first, and their pack doesn’t understand why a fox would want to be in the pack bonds with wolves. When you first came to them, you were absolutely terrified of them. Every last one of your instincts warned you away from wolves, yet you persisted. You wanted—and you still want—what they have. Foxes are pack animals, just like them. A pack of wolves is better than being alone. Am I correct?”

“I’m tired of being alone.”

“Amelia was an unclaimed bitch. She was brought into the pack the instant the Alphas discovered she was without a pack. No question. And you hate it, don’t you?”

“I hate she can have what I can’t, but I don’t hate her for having it.”

“You wouldn’t even hate her if she took Jake away from you.”

Amelia didn’t want Jake, but I could see Jake’s parents trying to push them together. “He’s already gone. I left him. I looked at her, and well, she’s pretty much perfect for Jake. I’m not blind or stupid.” He’d been gone from before I’d walked out the door, we just hadn’t put the sham of our relationship to rest yet. “He is no different from his parents. He will always put his pack first.”

“What makes you think that?”

Without looking away from the window, I waved my hand to take in the room. “He isn’t here.”

“You’re right. He isn’t here. Where do you think he is?”

“Probably talking with Amelia.”

“And if I told you your assumption is correct?”

“We were already falling apart, Mellisa. No, we were already over. I told him that to his face. I asked for something he couldn’t give me, and I wouldn’t budge on it. He can’t or won’t change his mind on it. We’re married, but we’re not partners anymore. We haven’t been for a while. I will file for divorce once I’m out of here, I guess.”

My fox’s grief smothered me, but what else could I do?

I didn’t want to live a lie forever.

“I thought things had been going well before your return to the United States. What changed?”

“I wanted what he has with his pack.”

“And because you’re you, you tried to earn it, becoming frustrated when it wasn’t a matter of earning it, but rather their culture just doesn’t allow it. Some packs out west will bring Normals into their pack, but they’re few and far between. It’s becoming more popular out west, though. From your file, I had assumed you were a lone wolf, figuratively speaking, of course. I’ve since figured out I was wrong. Your family was your pack. But then your family turned on you, so you have no one.”