Page 44 of License to Kill

“She’s going to be bigger than you are at the rate she’s growing out, Jake,” Mason commented, stretching out and propping his feet up on the coffee table. “What do you figure she weighs in at?”

“One-fifty, give or take a few pounds.” Jake strolled into the room and nudged my side with his toe. “She’s leggy even for a fox.”

“So, in Fenerec terms, she’s still a puppy.”

“Seems that way.”

“Great.” Mason sighed. “Can I be the one to tell them they’ve been basically kicking a puppy?”

I slinked in the direction of the staircase, my only viable route of escape without having to get near anyone. Keeping my head low and tail tucked, I backed away, half watching the hallway while keeping an eye on the wolves in the living room.

“A terrified one who views us as arch enemies preparing to eat her? Sure. It’s not like anything else can go wrong at this point.” Jake followed me to the bottom of the stairwell and shook his head. “The main suite downstairs is a disaster, so she’ll be staying upstairs. If you’re going to be telling the others they’ve been kicking a puppy, you may as well tell them to keep their distance unless she goes to them. She’s been bullied enough.”

I scrambled up the stairs and kept my tail tucked until I reached the top. I limped down the long hallway to the guest bathroom so when I bled, at least I’d contain the worst of the mess to the tiles. After a long moment of thought, I nosed aside the shower curtain and jumped in the bathtub, curling in a tight ball while pretending if I stayed still and quiet enough, no one would find me.

“Hiding in the bathtub only works when you don’t leave a blood trail all over the house, Karma.” Jake opened the curtain and sat on the edge of the tub, sighing as he looked me over. “Your fur’s going to mat.”

At least the bleeding had mostly stopped. I regarded the injury with my ears turned back and licked my paw in a half-hearted effort to prevent the inevitable.

“Let me help you get cleaned up. Then, if you’re feeling up for it, you can shift and we can try to talk. I’ve fucked up a lot of stuff, through no fault of yours. I understand you may never trust me again, but at least let me try. Please.”

I staggered upright, shuffled to the faucet, and pawed it on, flinching at the cold water that washed over my paws. Exaggerating a sigh, I stuck my head under the stream.

Shaking his head, Jake reached up, grabbed the shower on its extendible hose, and adjusted the faucet to turn on the spray. At the same time, he raised the temperature from the freezing point to a pleasant, steaming warmth. “Back up a bit, or you’re going to end up clogging the drain or getting stuck.”

I obeyed and held my head low, drooping my ears.

Grabbing one of the shampoo bottles, Jake dumped a bunch on my back and went to work soaping down my fur, spraying me enough to work the bubbles into my coat. “I’m sorry. I was frustrated because I couldn’t give you what you needed, I didn’t understand why it was so important to you, and I was being pressured. Us Fenerec think with our noses, and because your scent has never been very strong on me, and mine has never been very strong on you, the pack believed we weren’t a legitimate pairing. When we started fighting, I allowed those doubts to influence me.”

I turned my ears back and stared at the drain.

“Yes, I liked Amelia. Of course I liked her. She protected you when I couldn’t, and she helped you when I couldn’t. I liked her because of all the things she did that I couldn’t. I never wanted to be her mate. I was stupid and hurt because you didn’t want me. She’s not you, and she can never be you. But everyone convinced me I should at least show up. Amelia knew right away there was never going to be an us and that I didn’t want there to be one. I wanted to know what you had been doing without me, and we talked about some of that. A relationship with her was never on the table.”

I wasn’t sure if I believed him or not, but I kept quiet while he worked the shampoo into my fur and began the long, tedious process of rinsing it out.

“The divorce papers were a stupid mistake. I filled them out, and all I could think was how it was the absolute last thing I wanted. I never signed them, and I never filed them. I ripped them up. I ripped them in my mother’s face and told her that if she ever mentioned them to me again, I’d petition to join a different pack, and if I ever got you back, that I’d take you with me. By then, you were already gone. Dr. Sampson’s a smart one, as you know. She told me what she had told you and why. She was right. After the first two months, when I realized you wouldn’t be coming back on your own, I told my parents what she had told me. They didn’t take it well. That’s when we started looking for you.”

Jake worked the nozzle under my chin, nudging my head up so he could rub soap into my chest fur. I turned my head so I wouldn’t have to look him in the eyes.

“We got lucky finding you. A man caught a photograph of an unusual, pretty fox near his sheep farm and posted it to the internet, wondering what species you were. No one could figure it out, since they were confused on your size; from our understanding, the picture had been taken a month after you’d vanished, so while you were large, people assumed you were a male red fox color mutation.”

I huffed.

“I saw the picture and knew it was you right away. So, we found out the location of the farm, contacted the man, and he told us where he’d seen you. By then, there was no sign of your scent, so we had to look around. It took us two weeks to pick up your trail, but we were looking for tiny paw prints.” Jake ran his hand down my leg and lifted my paw. “These are not tiny paws. These are monster paws, and when I saw monster paw prints, I was about ready to start murdering other Fenerec for getting too close to you.”

I flicked an ear at the growl in his voice.

“You evaded us for two weeks. Two whole damned weeks. Mason was the one who found you first, and you startled the hell out of him when you clawed out his fur, by the way. He’s so used to Fenerec who tiptoe around him that he forgot you’d tan his hide if cornered.”

Huffing again, I twisted around and snapped my teeth at the shower head. Jake snorted and sprayed me in the muzzle. “You also run fast enough more than a few shame-faced Fenerec in the pack decided it might be wise to get in some time working out. They didn’t like being completely trounced by a cute little fox. That alone changed some minds, when you’re a match for more than a few of them now that you’ve grown out a bit. It makes me wonder if you’ll shed out in time.”

For a while, Jake went back to rinsing out my fur, and when he finished with my back and chest, I grudgingly rose to all four paws so he could get the soap off my belly. He saved my tail for last, and I got the feeling the long, bushy fur amused him.

“If they ever figure out you have a plush, silky coat, they’re going to be jealous.” Jake turned off the water and closed the curtain. “All right. Shake off.”

I braced my legs and obeyed, sending water beating against the walls and the curtain. Even after shaking so much I made myself dizzy, my coat remained heavy and damp. Jake dug his finger in and made a disapproving noise. “Hair dryer and toweling off it is, then.”

I shook my head.