Page 29 of Catnapped

“Some seeds require careful planting in order to grow, and neither one of you would come up with the idea on your own. As such, I’m planting the seed. I do enjoy some harmless chaos at times. It gives me something to gossip about with my brothers.” Raguel held out his hand, and a manilla envelope appeared, which he handed to me. “Here is the paperwork you need to be able to legally poke your nose, with some limitations, in places you otherwise should not be. As this is state-owned land and should not have been occupied in the first place, these papers give you basic rights to be here. I am not feeling any obligation to inform you of what you will find. I do hope my son takes more care this time, as I do not like when foolish mortals shoot him. And yes, your other father is definitely aware of that incident, and he has been doing what he does best. Your mother is also aware, but we have taken steps to keep her thoroughly distracted, as we do love our son and do not wish him to perish at his mother’s hands.”

I opened the envelope and looked inside, discovering several different permits giving us permission to operate as private investigators in the states of California and Florida. “I don’t feel I’m qualified to be a private investigator,” I admitted.

“Private investigation requirements are fairly lax for a temporary permit,” Raguel replied. “You simply need to have a clean record, which you have. Of course, Darian has more robust qualifications, and you are recorded as being in partnership with him, which helped pave the way for you to have your own permit. If you wish to pursue private investigation in the future, I am sure my son can assist you. How are you feeling?”

I stared down at my chest, which ached, although I had ignored the discomfort throughout the drive. “I hardly noticed when I was driving, but it does ache a little. I’m still a little baffled over all this.”

“My brother does not appreciate when mortality comes for mortals he particularly likes, and he likes you—as does his wife and daughter. He is a sentimental enough of a creature, burdened with unbecoming emotions he prefers to ignore or bury. We are onto our brother, no matter how much he tries to hide it. Your nature would make you a very good companion for him and his family. It would also grant him more time to be with his family while costing you less time than your current employment. With all that in mind, healing your body is a small price to be paid. The value of a soul is judged by the deeds of one’s hands, and your hands are hands of compassion. You give far more than you receive, as it has been since you were a child who discovered the joy of giving. You just give in different ways. Your curiosity is a troublesome thing, however.”

I opted against heaving my most dramatic sigh. “Translate one forbidden text, and I get labeled as troublesome. It was one forbidden text. And it wasn’t like I was all that aware it was forbidden. I mean, sure, it was buried in a vault in the middle of a desert to prevent people from just wandering to it and finding it, but if they really hadn’t wanted me to find it, someone wouldn’t have left directions to get there in a library. Or ten.”

“Closer to twenty,” the archangel chided.

“So maybe it was a little bit hidden, but I found it with no real problems. I even avoided all of the traps, and I put it back when I was done with it.”

“Except you created a copy for yourself.”

“I put the copy in a safe place.”

Somehow, despite the shroud cloaking his head and preventing him from wiping me out of existence, the archangel managed quite the stare. “To translate it, you needed to read several dead languages, several old dialects of current languages, and decipher an ancient cypher.”

“Is it a sin to be prideful of that accomplishment?”

“No. But I did wish to speak with you regarding your copy of that text.”

“You can go steal it out of the vault and make it disappear if you would like.” I tapped my temple. “Sometimes, I wish I could forget what I read, but I understand why it was buried. It does explain a little too much on the nature of the shroud and what really happens during the End of Days. I can understand why that knowledge was buried. While the End of Days will have a war between a father and his son, the end of all life on this Earth is but a consequence. Everything has a consequence. It’s just that when He finally loses His temper with His son, all life being lost on this Earth is the consequence of that moment. Or any moment that upsets Him so much He loses His shroud while on the mortal coil. His presence is omnipresent. Only those of divine blood might withstand Him, and only if their bloodline is pure enough. But then the war will happen, and with so many divine entities abandoning their shrouds, the surviving life will inevitably end, leaving the Earth as a husk by the time the war is finished.” I considered the whole situation, which left only one ending I could fathom. “He would be so distraught I can only imagine He would sacrifice His life for but one more chance for a better future, thus renewing the cycle. That’s just my guess.”

With his mouth hanging open, Darian stared at me as though truly seeing me for the first time.

“What a clever little human. Little humans like you may be what prevents that foretold fate from coming to pass. But it must always linger on the horizon. Mostly, as a reminder to Him of the consequences should He lose his patience. And make no mistake, Lucifer is very good at making our father lose His patience.”

“May I ask a question?”

“You may always ask, but I cannot promise I can answer.”

“Am I a creation like Darlene? Is that why I register as a pure human with nothing divine? Or even other?”

The weight of the archangel’s regard fell on me. “My brother likes to believe he is a master at playing games, cultivating seeds over many generations to create a perfectly flawed, beautiful being. Many of his nephews and nieces are such beings. Even you, Darian, are such a being, cultivated as a consequence of Lucifer’s desire to gift Belial with something meaningful. Your mother is as much a gift to Belial as he is a gift to her. My brother dragged me into this because he fails to understand how to be a good brother without being awkward about it. But yes, you are a creation much like Darlene, but you have been one in the works for many generations. He created every seed needed for you to be as you are now. He did so well aware you would fall into my brother’s sights and become a prized treasure. He did so making your seed one Lucifer could shape however he sees fit. You, like Darlene, are a gift. Unlike Darlene, however, you are a gift who is also a sword.”

“And to think the CDC thinks archangels are contumacious and unwilling to share knowledge.”

“The CDC does not ask the right questions, nor do they deserve the answers to those questions. With you, the scales are unbalanced, for you have given much with little being given back. The high heavens and my brother’s many hells exist for one reason: to maintain the balance. Angels, demons, and devils all work for the same cause in different ways. Your nature will do much to maintain the balance in my brother’s domicile, although you may find having to beat the resident demons and devils tiresome at times. Belial can offer assistance with that. He is excellent at his craft.”

“I bet he is. When do you want your son back?”

“Keep him. He is troublesome and costs a great deal to feed. He can come visit when it’s time to babysit.”

“Thanks,” Darian muttered.

“Fly from the nest, annoying child. Try to land appropriately, for it would be annoying to have to rescue you from excessive amounts of trouble. Fly. Be gone with you. We will contact you when we are feeling in need of your affections. This may take a while. I am sure you can handle this burden.”

“Dad paid you to say that, didn’t he?”

“I was offered certain incentives to do my best to offend you and keep you away from home for a little longer,” the archangel replied.

“Let me take a guess what actually happened. My mother, because she tries to be the perfect parent, convinced herself she’s the world’s worst mother, and she went to Dad for attention. Dad brought you into it, because Dad does not like when my mother is upset for any reason and is a fixer even worse than you are. As such, there was a three-way pity party. Dad, being among the most sensible of the threesome that is my parents, told you to check on me because Dad tends to make a mess of things when he’s fretting and tries to be a parent rather than the devilish general he is. As such, he offered you something to do his dirty work, probably resulting in you spending a few days up visiting your old man, but you had to deal with me and my paperwork issues first. After you’re back, because you can’t stand the idea of being able to recharge while he’s stuck on Earth, you will keep my mother amused for a few days while Dad goes hunting some gemstones so you two can pull stunts on some humans with morality issues. Somewhere in here, you two will scheme for a second child, as I am really old enough to take care of myself. Frankly, I feel like I’m the mature adult in our family, Father.”

“You are not wrong.”