Page 27 of Client from Hell

Not even an ache bothered me, not even when I waited for the suffering to begin.

Upon my diagnosis, the various doctors I’d worked with had all said the same thing: I would suffer, and then I would die. Death would not come on quiet feet, either. Pain would be a constant, a foe they would need to battle for the remainder of my life.

I spent a long time appreciating the warmth, the comfort, and the stillness.

Only after boredom set in did I open my eyes. The opulent splendor of some prissy hotel room surrounded me, and I shared the bed with an amused Jonas, who stretched out on top of the blanket, staring at me with a smile promising trouble. To my delight, he wore a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt. “I have been with many women, but you are the first to spend forty minutes wiggling your toes in the blanket. It is a comfortable blanket, but your patience should have limits, Sandra.”

“It doesn’t hurt,” I informed him. In my opinion, my statement explained everything.

Something in his expression softened, and his smile lost some of its smug edge. “I know. That’s why I left you to indulge in your toe wiggling and waited until you were ready. Camael said you have been in enough pain for long enough she was uncertain of how you would react to the lack of misery. It’s been two days, and I’ve been caring for you, although I can state it’s the first time I’ve handled a naked woman without sex being involved. Most of the time, you weren’t sufficiently coherent to handle more than the very basics, and you were determined to bathe often.”

“I can’t blame the drugs, can I?”

“The drugs played a part. There are some you need to be weaned off of, and I have the prescriptions for you. The rest was exhaustion due to your treatment.” Jonas stretched. “It worked out well, as it gave me time to work on my share of the healing. Camael is an excellent healer, but I’m better than her at hormonal therapy and reproductive organ restoration.”

“Does that mean I’m no longer sterile?”

“You may have children if you choose. I have taken the liberty, at Camael’s recommendation, of preventing pregnancy. It can be reversed at any time, but a pregnancy would not be good for your health—or the baby’s health—right now. As such, I made certain there are no unplanned children conceived. She recommends at least a year for your body to adapt to your adjusted biology and the virus, but she recommends I evaluate your health then and give a recommendation of my own.”

I would need more than a few minutes to come to terms with the rollercoaster that was my health. “I don’t know if I want children, but I like that I could have them if I wanted. Thank you. The doctors had been pretty clear I’d be sterile.”

“You wouldn’t have been sterile. You would have been dead. Which reminds me. You’re going to come across this in the future without fail. Lucifer and many of his ilk call infertility being barren, no matter the gender. It’s a consequence of their age. People get offended because it’s not packaged in a way they approve of or appreciate.”

“Jonas, he’s the Devil. Doesn’t he exist to offend people?”

“Yes, but if the discussion of your sexual health comes up, that’s the language they will use. Lucifer often tells it as it is, and barren ground bears no fruit. That is how it is with the lot of them.”

I rolled my eyes. “I am not so easily offended.” Sitting up without a care I lacked even a stitch of clothes, I pointed at my stomach, doing my best to ignore the prominence of my ribs. “This gut wasn’t gonna be producing any fruit, so I don’t give a fuck if someone calls me barren. If the shoe fits, I’ll wear it. It all means the same thing.”

“That gut, as you say, won’t be producing any fruit until you want it to, and when you want it to, you will be able to enjoy the consequences of taking a lover.”

“How long am I on bed rest without a bed buddy? I finally lured a man to bed, and he’s dressed and I’m not. Honestly? This is slightly disappointing.”

Jonas smiled, reached over, and pressed his hand to my ribs, careful to keep his hand away from my breasts. “When I can’t see these poking out and on the verge of snapping at a wrong look, you’ll be able to indulge in your plans to acquire a bed buddy for yourself.”

His skin ran a high risk of burning me with his heat. “I need pajamas before I freeze my ass off.”

“The virus and the cancer trashed your reserves. I’ll draw a warm bath for you so you can get your body temperature up. I do have pajamas for you, but you’ve been bathing so often I stopped bothering with them.”

“That is more than fair. Am I going to be able to walk to the bathroom?”

“Not yet,” he admitted. “I’ll carry you, because a fall would not be good right now. I told Lucifer to shove his errand list up his ass. Instead of coming over and whipping my ass for defying him, he laughed and ordered me to give him a call when you are ready to go on errands. He’ll reissue a list. In the meantime, it’s you, me, this hotel room, and a ton of board games. Lucifer has been over several times with more games, two laptops we can game on, and he even brought a pair of screens to plug the laptops into. Then he said children needed toys and ordered me to make sure you play with the new toys.”

I stared at him, uncertain of who was crazier: Lucifer for being convinced we were children in need of toys, or Jonas for his tolerance for the Devil’s absurdity. “He really said children need toys? In this case, us? We need toys?”

“Yep.”

“How good are these laptops?”

“They’re good.”

“All hail Satan. I am a child, and I need toys, Jonas.”

Jonas laughed and rolled out of bed. “You’re not going to hear me complain, either. Let’s get you warmed up, fed, and dressed, and then we’ll explore our new toy collection and have some fun. After the hell you’ve dealt with lately, you deserve some fun.”

Peace came in many shapes and sizes, but nothing surprised me quite as much as discovering tranquility in a hotel room with an incubus without even a hint of sex being involved. It took a few board games to realize the Devil had played us both, as Jonas had a competitive streak the match of mine, and neither of us liked to lose. The chess board saw a great deal of use.

I appreciated Jonas’s determination to beat me, his patience when I took my time considering my next move, and his utter frustration when I crushed him. Defeating him rose to become my newest favorite hobby, although every now and then I left him an opening so he might enjoy a rare victory.