Page 71 of Client from Hell

“Opposable?”

“Indeed. They were His promise of life to the Earth. They died out as humanity rose, but horses—and unicorns—were born from their image.”

“Did they have a name?”

“No, they didn’t. They were gone long before man began naming things in earnest. He hadn’t even created Lucifer by the time they had gone extinct.”

“How do you know about these horses?”

“A wise man knows his enemies and his friends, and Lucifer can be both. I have seen fossils of these beasts, and I allowed an angel to repay a debt through telling me of the fossil. This makes a great deal of sense to me now. The angel would have needed to ask Him about the fossil, and if He had a hand in your making, He planned for you long before your birth. He does that, when the need is great. So, as repayment for the great deed you have done for me, I will look into this matter—and into this pharmaceutical company. Please tell Lucifer I would appreciate my child’s body back.”

“They did not treat his body well,” I warned. “Lucifer is doing what he can.”

“Another debt, but one I will find difficult to repay. Did he speak of my child’s soul? You mentioned he could retrieve the seed.”

I swallowed at the hint of emotion in the vampire’s voice. “He rests well,” I replied.

“Good. Then he has made up for our sin of his second life. I am grateful for your kindness. Tell Lucifer we will meet in my home, and that he will be an honored guest among my brood and family. I will have the wards against teleportation lowered. Please call before you plan to teleport so I can make certain there are no mishaps.”

I made a note in the calendar someone needed to call Ernesto regarding the teleportation wards. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you. I look forward to meeting you.” The vampire hung up.

A faint pop warned me someone had teleported into the room, and I finished checking over my list before glancing up to discover Lucifer holding Jonas by the back of the neck. As warned, the incubus showed off his wings, and he batted at the Devil’s arm in an ineffective protest. “He wouldn’t settle down without visual proof I am a self-rescuing princess?”

“I caught my darling trying to drown him in her moat, and while a little lava won’t hurt either of them, I thought I’d put an end to the general dispute. How did your call go?”

“We have an appointment with Ernesto tomorrow morning at nine. We need to call him before we teleport in. He will make the time for your visit. He wishes for the body to be brought to him, and he said he’s in your debt for recovering his child’s body.”

Lucifer nodded, dragged Jonas over, and shoved him in my direction. The incubus hissed, and to keep him from attacking the Devil and being slapped around or worse, I snagged his wrist. “If you get beaten up by your bigger and older brother, I lose bed buddy time tonight, and that would not be a good situation.”

Jonas stilled, although he kept glaring at Lucifer. “He blocked me from teleporting to you!”

“I’m sure he would have let you teleport if I actually needed help. I emerged generally unscathed, but there was some damage to my pride, my dignity, and my poor arm, so I’m going to need a lot of attention to get over it.” My stomach snarled its displeasure of having ignored it. “And dinner. I’m definitely going to need dinner.” To make it clear I really needed to be fed dinner before becoming dessert, I tugged on his wrist again. “I beat three idiots to death with a fire extinguisher, and then I slit their throats.”

Jonas muttered a few curses before he turned to me. “That bastard blocked me from teleporting to you.”

“I deserved all of the glory, and you can reward me for a job well done. Don’t annoy him too much, or he won’t let you go to the meeting tomorrow morning.”

“I really won’t, too. Take your spicy pony with bite home. She gets sicker than hell when I teleport her, so you get to be her transportation. Make sure you feed, groom, and water her before you do your intensive examination. You have until eight in the morning, and you two better be showered and dressed for a business meeting or I’ll send Darlene over to get you on the move.” The Devil teleported away so we couldn’t argue with him.

Jonas spat a few more curses before growling, “What a dick.”

“Hey, he’s not that bad. He only made me make one phone call before rewarding me for my good work.”

Jonas sighed. “What reward?”

Why had I thought it would be a good idea to pick an incubus to be my bed buddy? Nobody had warned me he would share Lucifer’s protective tendencies. I appreciated his concern, but if I didn’t stand up to his wicked ways, he’d find some way to lock me in a satin cage. Satin cages beat metal cages any day of the week, but I meant to stay as free as I could while indulging with my bed buddy. “You, obviously. Move it, Mr. Bed Buddy. We don’t have all night.”

Seventeen

I already missed his fur-covered wings.

The Devil didn’t understand time. At six in the morning, a mere three hours after Jonas had showed me a scrap of mercy, Darlene bounced into the bedroom. I had no idea who owned the bedroom, which did a good job of preventing me from flinging the nearest object at the bouncing succubus, who showed off her spotted wings, feline ears, and tail.

I glared at Lucifer’s wife, and because she was a cat, I hissed at her. While I lacked claws, I prepared to take a swipe at her.

Jonas wrapped his arms around me and trapped me against him. “As I love my sister, you can’t attack her. What is it, Darlene?”