Page 4 of Whiskers on Kittens

“There’s a reason for that,” Officer Dannell stated.

I raised a brow at his lack of hesitation and his willingness to speak in such a way everyone could hear him.

My virus accepted his challenge, leaving me to either give her what she wanted or get ready for a fight.

The feline in me demanded I put up a fight until giving her precisely what she wanted.

Two could play his game, but I’d play the game with the angel, who had sided with me thus far. “Is it the wealth, the power, or the copious amounts of divine beauty?”

“All three,” the angel replied. “Your wealth worries them, for they know you will never be dependent on them. This bothers weak men. The smart ones are often wise enough to understand they will never be able to control you. You claim the power that is yours and wield it with a refined sense of justice, which scares off the weak men. Not only will they never be able to control you, they will never be able to undermine your authority. You have made that for yourself, you have claimed it, and you use it as needed, wielding the wisdom you have gathered over the years as a weapon. And as for the divine beauty portion, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the men who run from you understand your beauty is a sword sheathed in thorns. Should you not offer them the hilt, they will be left bleeding.”

I hadn’t thought of the whole beauty with thorns part as a lesson of consent rather than merely being prickly. How interesting. “And here I thought I was just looking for love in all the wrong places.”

“Well, you have learned for yourself that prison is not a good place to look for love.”

I giggled because it was true. “But the look on that one guy’s face when I relocated his balls into his throat. A pretty little thing like me? Able to work him over like that? He never saw it coming.”

The angel snickered. “That is one way to put it. Deserved, I assure you. You did the world a service, as you worked him over with such enthusiasm you have done significant damage to his ability to produce fruit. And by significant, I mean due to his decision to ignore the starting symptoms of infection, he will become like a barren field. You have done the world a great service with a rather violent act.”

The men in the room winced. I allowed myself a grim smile. “A suiting punishment in my opinion.”

“And due to the nature of the injury, no demon, devil, nor angel will offer him assistance should he ever wish to bear fruit.”

“How did that stay off her record?” the cop asked, and he regarded his folder of intel with a frown.

“Self-defense and cases of defense of another are not added to the record of inmates,” the angel replied. “As she acted in defense of another and in self-defense, her record was not modified while the incident was added to his permanent record. Had she not been in the prison system, she may have even received compensation.”

“That’s irritating, really. I did good work in that prison, and the best I got was a pat on the head and told I’d done a good job. I really couldn’t care less if that was added to my record. It’s better for the printers that it’s not. I’d have a rap sheet twenty miles long if every incident of self-defense or defense of another was dutifully recorded.”

In a dry voice, Officer Dannell replied, “That’s quite the exaggeration.”

I loved the sound of an angel’s laughter, so much like the tinkling of bells on a brisk winter day. “She is not exaggerating. If I were to gather a report for every such thing, put it on one sheet of paper per incident, the paper trail might readily exceed a few miles. None of these things ever make it to her record for she is never guilty of a crime. At most, she suggests that she pay community service because violence should not be her first response, but she enjoys community service. It keeps her busy and makes her happy. I recommend you seed out acceptable amounts of temptation so she might have her stints serving the people. It is not nearly as much fun if she just shows up and does it.”

According to the cop’s expression, he verged on becoming rather ill over what he heard. “You have got to be kidding me.”

Once again, the angel laughed. “You know I cannot lie. Kelsie, do tell him about your first foray into becoming a protector of those who cannot protect themselves. This will help him better understand the marvel that is you.”

I held up four fingers. “I was this many years old, and a boy was hitting a kitten. I stopped the boy from hitting the kitten with my fists, rescued the kitten, and kept her until she passed from old age. I had named her Justice. My punishment was to keep and care for the kitten, which had been his until his momma found out he’d been beating his kitten. As I had come to the defense of the kitten, his momma talked to my momma, and that’s how I got my first pet. That boy learned to walk the straight and narrow, and his momma was wise enough he never got another pet. And I may have quietly reported him to the authorities after I began seeking out my first degree and had him put on watch for animal abuse. He now cannot adopt any animal without verification from an angel that he will not abuse them.” I considered the angel with interest. “I did that to practice the reporting tools available to civilians. Did it do any good?”

“You have saved many a dog and cat from a poor and short life. He attempted angelic verification once, and the judge was informed he should be put on close watch for abuses against humans as well. He does not like it, but he does walk the straight and narrow now.”

I gave my new partner my undivided attention. “You don’t have to like my methods. You don’t even have to like me. But for as long as we’re partnered together, all that matters is making sure those kittens make it home to their family safe and sound.” After putting my resume on my phone with the hefty chunk of degrees and certifications I possessed visible, I waved the device in his face, holding it steady only long enough for him to comprehend what I discussed. “That is why I went through all that work. That’s why I tango with corporations bigger than they should be. That’s why I take on cases for the small dog and get into fights with the big dogs. If I don’t, who will? I’m not expecting an answer to that question. I am expecting you to tango with me on this, even if it means you have to toe lines you’d normally dodge because you want to be a knight in shining armor.” Flashing a grin, I gathered my notes and stuffed them into my briefcase. “Your place or mine, Dannell?”

“Yours. That way I can check to see what else you’ve stolen before we hit the road.”

I appreciated the subtle hint of humor in his tone. “In good news for you, it doesn’t take me long to pack. I keep a bag ready and wash the clothes I keep in it once a week so I’m fresh and ready to conquer at a moment’s notice.” I finished packing my things, double checked I had everything, and faced the judge. “Anything else, Your Honor?”

“If you can find time to submit your comprehensive report on your jail stay before you go overboard, that would be great. I’d like to act on it sooner than later.”

“You’ll have it by tomorrow morning,” I promised. “I’ll get the cop to drive while I work on the comprehensive. Was the basic acceptable?”

“The basic might give me an ulcer,” the judge complained.

“I should probably get checked for an ulcer,” I admitted. “That jail food ripped through my stomach like you wouldn’t believe. On the surface, it looks like food, but somehow, they found a way to make food itself the true punishment of imprisonment.”

“While your stomach endured hardship, you are not at risk of an ulcer at this point,” the angel stated. “However, those who are in for a longer period of time are certainly at risk, and the food situation at the prison should be addressed. She makes no exaggeration regarding the quality of food there. While prison is a punishment, it should not be an inhumane one. At current, it is. I would not feed that slop to a pig or a dog.”

“Can I get that on record?” The judge grabbed a piece of paper and jotted a note, which he taped to his monitor so he wouldn’t forget it later.