Page 39 of Booked for Theft

“You will pay for this,” I warned my fiancé.

“Are you angry that I fibbed a little?”

“No.”

“What has upset you?”

“You can’t be the vice president and the First Lady at the same time,” I informed him.

“I would be a First Gentleman, not a First Lady.”

“There is nothing in the rules that says anything about women becoming the President of the United States, Mr. Hampton. All the documentation explicitly mentions the First Lady is the spouse of the President of the United States. I will pay for this by being addressed as Mr. President, but I will suffer through somehow.”

Bradley snickered. “Whomever is in charge of the documentation is going to absolutely panic when they have to change everything to be friendly for the first woman holding office and her handsome gentleman spouse who also might happen to be the vice president.”

“If, Bradley. This is not a when situation.”

“With your luck, it’s definitely a when situation.”

“Bradley Hampton, you take that back right this instant.”

He laughed at me. “All right, all right. If.”

“I’m going to send you off on the worst diplomatic missions on the planet,” I warned him. “And when you complain, I will laugh at you.”

“Your cruelty clearly knows no bounds.”

I snorted, well aware I’d have a meltdown of epic proportions if I actually had to do anything that might remotely count as cruel. “I don’t suppose I can have a sensible government for Christmas, can I?”

“The only way you’re getting a sensible government for Christmas is if you somehow manage to sweep the election and we somehow revamp the entirety of the system. Unfortunately, the answer is probably no, but at least we can try to take the first steps towards that goal. Maybe one day.”

Maybe. “I guess I can’t get away with asking you to abandon the sinking ship if this goes to hell on us, can I?”

“If we’re going down, we’re going down together, but I appreciate the sentiment. I prefer to view our country as worth living for. Living is a whole lot harder than dying.”

It certainly was. “Then let’s cut a deal. If you do your best to make it out of this alive, I’ll do my best to make it out alive.”

“As long as we’re happily married while making it out alive, you have a deal.”

My mother lured me out of bed with bacon, but she made the mistake of letting me get a hold of the plate while still in the living room. As such, I chomped on my prize while everyone had breakfast around me, taking up every bit of available space. To my amusement, even Ajani got to join us, and she devoured her wet food in the hallway, safely out from underfoot. I had no idea how much bacon I’d gobbled down, but I refused to feel an iota of shame for my conquest. I targeted Beatrice with a stare, waiting for her to notice me.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve that look,” she admitted.

“You are the unfortunate victim I’ve selected to be my bridesmaid of honor. If you hurry up and marry Mickey, you can be a matron of honor instead.” I devoured another slice of bacon and licked my fingers. “As I’m not cruel, I’m going to let the bridesmaids choose their dresses, and if you want to resemble peacocks or rainbows, that is entirely your problem. If we cared more about appearances, we’d match in style, but I honestly couldn’t care less. Operation: Marriage secures me the male of my choosing.” I snagged more bacon and pointed it at Bradley. “Specifically, him.”

“I feel your plans for Operation: Marriage should move forward without much complication if your only standard is emerging married,” my best bitch replied with laughter in her voice. “You don’t want to pick your own dress, do you?”

“I really do not. My current plan is to ask some poor sales clerk to make me pretty. The only compromise I’m willing to make is buying a pair of wedding appropriate glasses.”

“You don’t have to change your glasses,” Bradley informed me.

“If you do not want us to be the laughingstock of society, we will put me in a different pair of glasses. Also, we need to take me in for an eye exam. I’m overdue. I will absolutely be getting my bling frames again, but I will also get a classy pair of glasses for classy events, our wedding included.” I vanquished the rest of my bacon, debating if I needed more food. As my stomach wasn’t complaining, I got up, excused myself, and took my dish to the kitchen and washed it before returning. “Where are the Hamptons?”

“They’re outside with Ren, glaring at your SUV. They’re cranky the Secret Service installed trackers. In good news, you did get all the trackers off. Now that the vehicle is clean, they’re going to be installing a few more cameras hidden in the undercarriage. They’re going to run wires into the cabin to hook into your rechargeable battery. Bradley, your vehicles will need the same treatment.”

“I’m going to be retiring the old car. Janette drove it without issue, and the engine is about dead. I’m going to let it go, and we’re going to shop for a new one we both like—preferably one that has better longevity. It’s not a priority at the moment.”

Everyone stared at my fiancé, and after a few minutes, Mickey said, “Are you okay?”