Page 111 of Dragon Her Heels

“But will our horses be invited?”

“They’ll be participants, so don’t you worry. Also, what’s this Lucifer keeps telling me about you using people as squeaky toys?”

“You’ve seen me punt my boss into the lake before. He squeaks. He’s basically a living squeaky toy who exists to pay me to put up with him and punt him into the lake.”

She halted to stare at me. “You’re not joking, are you?”

“I can’t help it. I punt him, he squeaks his protests, and the protests end with a splash. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. It might be my sole flaw. I really like punting his squeaky toy ass back to his castle.”

“I am so torn. On one hand, I want you to have harmony with your boss. On the other hand, I do not want to steal your joy.”

“Is it bad that I invited Yuless to punt squeaky toys into the lake with me?”

She bowed her head and rubbed her temple. “Sharing is caring, I suppose. But what about your alligators?”

“I asked them nicely to cuddle and not devour my punted victims. Unless it’s your husband. Can a lake of alligators actually do anything to him?”

“Not particularly.” The succubus giggled. “You know what? Carry on, Crystal. Carry on.”

* * *

Yuless wore a suit worthy of a king, and I spent a rather shameful length of time feasting on him from head to toe. Did marriage gain me access to the goods? Were the goods worth marriage over? I recognized the lust for what it was, but the whole package appealed.

Add in my sweet baby Peach Pie, his willingness to work with my hobbies and love my animals, and I questioned why I made things so difficult on myself.

I caught myself before I started drooling, but it was a close thing.

Judging from how Yuless took his time examining my attire, Darlene had done her job well.

Finally, he said, “I didn’t take you to be a blonde.”

“Genetics stated I, alas, am a blonde. I just took care with dyeing my eyebrows and hair to minimize the dumb blonde jokes. Frankly, I might even keep this look for a while just to strike terror into the hearts of the jockeys forced to race against me. A gothic woman? I think their pride handled their defeat with grace. Some blonde bimbo on a cheap horse? I’m going to leave them crying.”

“You are hardly a bimbo.”

I grinned at that. “I dyed my hair black because I got tired of people underestimating my intellect due to my hair color. An unfortunate number of people tend to think blonde means stupid.”

“You are definitely not stupid.”

“Thank you.” I narrowed my eyes at Lucifer, who chatted with Gabriel. “Where are we going for dinner?”

“It seems my brother has decided you are going to a steakhouse in the Los Angeles area, where you will be meeting a mare who is up for sale and may be of interest to you.”

I somehow kept from crossing my eyes over the acquisition of yet another horse. “Why is the horse of interest?”

“She is Alligator Bait’s mother,” Lucifer replied. “The other is not yet aware that this freeloading thoroughbred mare he bought for even less produced a Triple Crown contender.”

“How much?”

“Ten thousand.”

“Sold. Can you secure the sale while I wine and dine Yuless? I have no interest in meeting the mare before she arrives at my home. Just buy her on my behalf as a proxy. And if there was any abuse involved with her sale, do not tell me about it. When did that asshole sell her?”

“He sold her right after Alligator Bait weaned.”

I couldn’t fault that timing, so I nodded. “All right. Please arrange for transport. I do not have the time to drive my rig to Los Angeles. I’ll pay whatever the transport fee is. Put her with the best money can buy, make certain she’s insured for her actual value for the trip, and do set up a most excellent stall for her so she can quarantine in comfort. If you pay for her on my behalf, I will not be paying you back and will view her as a gift you so kindly showered upon me.”

Lucifer burst into laughter. “That was much better on the selfishness front. Just because you dared, it shall be as you ask. Yuless, she is going to handle the teleportation with a great deal less grace than you, so please don’t allow her to fall. It would be a pity to damage such a pretty dress.”