Page 20 of Dragon Her Heels

Hello, hello, hello. In the time I’d lived in the neighborhood, Ashley hadn’t mentioned much about her spouse, only that he’d died in an accident. “Isaac is excellent for rebounds. Incubi usually are. And if you rebound with him often enough, you won’t even have to worry about him straying all that much. They like the chase. They also tend to have human men beat in the respect department. They understand what no means.”

The incubus made whining noises in the back. “It’s true. There is nothing worse than having to accept rejection because no means no. Unlike human males, exceptional specimens such as myself understand when a woman says no but hopes the man of her interest will convince her to say yes. It’s a subtle art, and I’m pleased to report I have mastered it. Crystal? When she says no, she means that she has knives and a willingness to use them if I bring anything of that ilk up again.”

Ashley kept on chuckling at the incubus’s misfortunes. “He asked you for a good time, Crystal?”

“Yep.”

“And you said no?”

“I enjoy telling him to bugger off and use his own hand as his evening entertainment. It makes my dark and evil heart happy.”

Both my neighbors chortled at my comment.

“You? Dark and evil?” Ashley howled her mirth, waving her hand in front of her face. “You have got to be kidding me. We all know you’re a sweet little blonde underneath all that dye. The black does really help your eyes stand out, though. They’re gorgeous.”

“Thank you.” Having green eyes had drawn a lot of unwanted attention, especially when I’d been a blonde. “The dye is an attempt to warn off unwanted men. For the most part, it works.”

“Any man who can’t see your worth through the dye is an idiot who doesn’t deserve a date anyway,” the incubus stated in his most serious tone. “I don’t know why you keep rejecting me, though.”

“The drama,” I informed him, also in my most serious tone. “My horses would try to kill you daily, you’re an incubus, so you’d want me to kiss it all better most days of the week, and nothing would ever get done around my place. Now, don’t get me wrong, you’re a gentleman, but you’re not the right gentleman for me. Ashley, if you want the incubus to stay, you just have to kiss and make it all better daily. They’re easy enough to train, and as they tend to want daily kisses, they don’t tend to develop any truly bad habits.”

I’d learned that gem from a hooker in Fort Lauderdale who filled her mornings with an incubus, her evenings with clients, and the rest of the time living life to the fullest. I held no delusions about her work, however.

Not all clients were good, but the incubus tended to kiss and make it better—and the particularly nasty clients received a visit from a pissed demon or devil seeking vengeance.

All in all, hell wasn’t a scary place for me in the slightest, and I looked forward to my first look at it. I’d seen enough of the world to understand I wouldn’t be headed there, not unless I took a sharp left and went out of my way to engage in acts of evil.

Considering I struggled with doing anything truly selfish, I figured I was safe enough.

Ashley giggled over my commentary. “Have you dated an incubus?”

“Me? No. I’m useless at dating. I was married to my previous job, which is why I could afford my place at all. Now that I have my place, I might look for an interesting man, but my horses have to like him.”

“They love me,” Isaac whined.

“They love trying to kill you. That is not the same. Alas, you’re entertaining, so you’re now a friend. You’ll just have to find your romantic satisfaction elsewhere. Sorry, Isaac. But in good news, being bad for me doesn’t mean you’re not great for Ashley.”

“We welcomed a matchmaker to our neighborhood?” the incubus complained. “Can we return her, Ashley?”

“No. She brings us eggs. My favorite food? Eggs. The price of eggs in the grocery store? I cried last time I checked. As long as we keep her, we are supplied with eggs.”

I made a mental note to make certain Ashley got first crack at my eggs, especially when the hens weren’t laying as much in the later part of the year. I’d also have to give the Devil a call and see if chickens could live in hell, if they laid all year when living in hell, and what breeds of bird might cover the season when the rest of my chickens were slacking off. “Considering I stalked my house for over a year before the price came down enough I could actually afford it, I think your egg supply is safe, Ashley.”

The woman cheered.

I could live with my role in Ashley’s life, which gave me a steady place to take my eggs.

It was a win-win as far as I was concerned.

“You’re just going to have to deal with me, Isaac. Sorry.”

“You should sacrifice your body to make me feel better, Ashley,” the incubus complained. “Crystal keeps rejecting me.”

Once I had the truck at a stop light, I leaned over and whispered, “It’s not much of a sacrifice if you like it.”

Time must have done some of its good work on the woman, as she laughed. “I’m not sure even an incubus can help with my issues at this point.”

Well, I could bat for Team Isaac once in a while, and while Isaac was a lot of things, I couldn’t even imagine the incubus doing anything to actually hurt the widow. “It doesn’t hurt to let him try, and we might have some peace and quiet on the street for a few days. Sneak over to his place after the gossips head to bed and take him on a test drive. If you like the test drive, keep him around for a while. He might even pay you with pie, and while he might be an incubus, somebody taught him how to bake.”