Page 45 of Dragon Her Heels

TEN

Did dragons fight over their toothpicks?

As the Devil had warned, trouble came calling early, and the banes of Fox Hunt Drive brought with them snide commentary, promises to attend my funeral, and more pies than any one person needed. I feared the pies would be the reason I required a funeral.

The reality of my situation might drive me mad.

The dragon needed a secretary.

The assholes of Fox Hunt Drive believed they had someone to serve as bait and a snack so they could continue to enjoy their lives.

For several long moments, I considered warning them that I did, in actuality, have a darker side. I contemplated inconveniencing them until they learned to be better people. Rather than drop a curse I’d have to unravel later, I plastered a smile on my face.

“Yes, there is a castle in the lake. No, there haven’t been any problems with it,” I repeated for the fifth time.

I doubted they’d listen.

While most people wouldn’t turn to Lucifer for salvation, relief swept through me when the limo approached and came to a halt near our gathering. Once again, Lucifer’s son-in-law proved to be the driver, and Malcolm released his wife from the vehicle before opening the door for the Devil.

While disappointed Yuless hadn’t come for the ride, a dark yet pearlescent shape on Lucifer’s shoulder caught my attention. A few brave and foolish people had captured a picture of the dragon as he’d devoured entire chunks of Georgia, and he perched and viewed the gathering with serpentine disdain.

I appreciated my new boss’s size, as it offered the illusion my bones wouldn’t be serving as toothpicks anytime soon.

Then, because one dragon wasn’t enough, Lucifer had two more lurking in his limousine, a pale green one and a pale blue one, and they’d opted to come as the size of large dogs.

Unlike the Destroyer of Georgia, the other two growled and made it clear they were threats.

Did dragons fight over their toothpicks?

Morbid curiosity goaded me into asking, “Sir, why did you bring three dragons with you?”

“I could, so I did.”

As far as power plays went, Lucifer did a good job of instilling the deepest of fear into my neighbors. To defuse the situation—or at least get some of my eggs and fruit out of my wagon and into the hands of the banes, I went about filling the reusable bags I’d gathered from various grocery stores and handing them off to their recipients, taking care to thank the women for the pies and promising there would be more tomorrow.

Susie Marie had the sense to take her plunder, thank me, offer a bow to the fancy people and the dragons visiting me, and flee to the safety of her home.

Donna Leanne stood her ground and glared. “And just who do you think you are?”

Fortunately for Donna Leanne, Isaac chose that moment to wander down the street, and Ashley followed close behind him. My entire world shifted on its axis when the widow beelined straight for the Devil’s shoulder dragon, and she petted his glossy black head. The movement made the sun reflect in rainbows off his scaled hide.

Rather than devour her, the dragon cooperated, stayed still, and allowed the woman to indulge.

“He’s so cute.” According to Ashley’s tone, she kept back a squeal by the thinnest of threads.

She picked him up, turned, and almost made her escape with the tiny dragon before Isaac reached over, snagged her shirt by the back of the collar, and held her in place. “You can’t steal the dragon. He is not a pet. He is sentient, which means he needs to consent to being your pet, and I’m pretty sure this specific dragon is not on the market right now.”

“Aww,” Ashley complained, and while she stopped, she didn’t relinquish her hold on him.

As Isaac was a sex demon, he added, “The other two are on the market and don’t mind sharing.”

Somehow, I kept from bursting into laughter as the widow stopped and spent a rather long time contemplating the benefits of sharing.

Once again regretting my decision to buy my personal slice of heaven on the cheap, I eased the black dragon out of my neighbor’s hold, situated him on my shoulder, apologized in a whisper for the insanity of our street, and said, “You could go for gold and have two dragons and an incubus, but you need to leave this specific dragon alone.”

When Ashley turned to face us, Isaac released his hold on her shirt, and he took the time to straighten her collar.

The woman grinned at me. “I even know where to buy collars and leashes at the feed store!”