Page 92 of Dragon Her Heels

Lucifer slapped her hands, refused to allow her to access the pie, and gave her the small slice he’d promised. “If you like the pie, you can stalk her at your leisure to make you another one.” After making certain his wife wouldn’t bar everyone from trying some, he cut one of the other pies in half and put the whole thing on her dinner plate. “You can have that.”

Much like a starved animal, the succubus snatched a spoon and began shoveling pie into her mouth.

I stared in a state of shock and awe over her lack of manners and complete disregard for her dignity.

As though sensing they’d get smacked too, everyone waited for Lucifer to dish out the pie, which he did in half pie segments along with a small slice of the eleventh pie. He gave me the last serving from the pie he’d served to Yuless.

“Now, we should all begin with the homemade crust. I have given everyone a set of cards. Pick your grade. If you aren’t fleeing the room gagging, you will not select zero or one as your score. Everything else is fair game.”

As the only one without a set of cards, I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. “What happened to my vote?”

“You’d vote zero because we’re being dramatic.”

I realized he was right, and I sighed, forced to accept his decision. “Very well. Please confirm I’m not going to be the next person on my street to give somebody food poisoning.”

“You did not slather the pies with egg glaze when you took them out of the oven before sprinkling them with sugar, so you’re fine. Nobody is going to suffer from food poisoning due to the irresponsible handling of pie.”

I shuddered at the thought of my neighbors applying raw egg to the crust of already baked pies. “But the instructions say to do the egg wash before it goes into the oven.”

“Congratulations, Crystal! You can read. Due to your ability to read and follow instructions, you have won this prize of milk and ice cream.” Lucifer snapped his fingers, and a bowl of vanilla ice cream and a glass of milk appeared next to my plate. “As the poor, unfortunate soul about to suffer through significant embarrassment, you can pick the second person to fall prey to your pie.”

I kept staring at Darlene, who had already defeated half her pie. “Is she all right?”

Did enough pie in the world exist to feed the Queen of Hell?

Lucifer joined me in observing his wife transcend into a ravenous beast fueled on dessert. “At this stage, I’m really not sure. Did you alter the recipe?”

While adding illicit substances to my pie might give me an advantage in the scoring, I preferred fair victories. “I did not add any drugs to the pie.”

“Well, that’s disappointing.” Lucifer armed himself with a fork. “Raise your weapon if you are watching Darlene to see if she chokes on her pie.”

Every fork at the table went up, mine included. Darlene ignored us in favor of chasing after peachy goodness. And if the pie wasn’t good, I would forever admire the woman’s ability to trick us all.

“You should try to steal a piece,” I stated.

“I value life, limb, and the ability to take my wife to bed, so I am passing on that. I might be immortal, but even I know better than to steal my wife’s pie.”

“Smart.” As everyone seemed afraid to partake of my offering, I dove in, aiming for the less intimidating slice of pie. The crust behaved in the way I expected, surprisingly flakey for having been made by someone who had needed to look up most of the terms and methods used to create it. The filling even stayed mostly together, leaving limited globs of peach to escape.

Knowing me, I’d lick the plate to vacuum up the essence of peach, even if the pie tasted terrible and I had to force myself to choke it down.

I took a bite, narrowing my eyes. It reminded me of a slightly less sweet version of Isaac’s pie and heavier on the peach flavor. I wanted to accuse sorcery of being involved, but I hadn’t used any magic at all when making the pie. As the first sample hadn’t attempted to kill me, I tried another to confirm my initial finding.

If the other pie tasted even remotely as good, I could understand Darlene’s perspective, and I’d be stuffing myself silly on it. There was only one way to find out, and I cut off a small slice of the half pie. Like the one with the crust I made, it was a little less sweet than Isaac’s, held together, and showcased everything wonderful about peaches.

“I wouldn’t marry me over this pie, but it is not terrible,” I announced before having a sip of milk and indulging in a spoonful of ice cream. “I think it’s fair that any single man of tolerable personality should be taken on a single date for presenting me a pie he baked equal to this one.”

Lucifer snickered. “Good luck with that, Crystal. You’re going to need it.”