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the Mother Fluffer is now a reality.
Although, it needs to be noted that I can still and always will be able to work Cassie’s body better than any vibrator, even the Mother Fluffer.
“That’s no prototype, honey,” I corrected with a smirk. “That’s post-production. All set to debut in Sextopia and Sure Romance next week.”
“But…why?”
Why today? was what she was really asking. Why would I reward her with a gift of boning proportions on the day she’d attempted to make my life a living hell? Well, for one, nothing my wife had done today was any kind of surprise.
“Because this vibrator is your dream, and I couldn’t think of any better time to debut it than Mother’s Day. She’s just as quiet and every bit as intense as you wanted.”
And two, I’d been planning a Mother’s Day reveal from the beginning. Granted, the original execution was altogether different and within the privacy of our own home, but quite frankly, this was better.
“And she sparkles,” she said in awe.
I laughed. “Yep. I remembered that request too.” My woman wanted her to sparkle, so fuck yes, she sparkled. Pink and white sparkles, to be specific.
The door cracked open, and Wes popped his head out. “Can we get the giant dick off my doorstep now?”
Later that night, after we’d enjoyed a nice night with the gang, and I’d watched Georgia and Winnie get hammered off of all the wine I couldn’t drink, I was more than ready to cuddle up—and have sex—with my husband.
Thatch walked into the bedroom and started shrugging out of his clothes while I watched from my cozy spot under the fluffy white comforter in our bed. Closely, I watched his facial expression for any signs of my favorite kind of trouble in the form of an arousing midnight spanking that turned into some good old-fashioned Thatch-style fucking.
A girl could dream, right?
But, sadly, my handsome husband appeared relaxed as he removed his pants and shirt and tossed them haphazardly toward the laundry basket.
I know, I know, I shouldn’t be complaining, huh?
I mean, Thatch not only forgave me, but he made my vibrator dreams come true.
But sheesh, there is something about hot make-up sex…
Is it bad that I kind of want him to be a little mad right now?
“Did Ace fall asleep pretty quickly after you got him into bed?” I asked and he smirked.
“Little man was out before his head hit the pillow,” he said and slid into bed beside me. “It shouldn’t be a surprise, though,” he added and pulled me toward his bared chest and tucked me into his side. “He and Julia have been running around like little banshees all day. I swear to God, Cass, those two kids have a secret stash of pixie sticks and Red Bull or something. They literally never stop.”
“Dad life,” I teased and he smirked.
“Best fucking life on the planet,” he said through a yawn, and I ran my hand over his chest.
“Tired?”
“Well…” he said and hugged me closer to his body. “Between chasing after the kids, the fake dognapping, making your vibrator dreams come true, and then dinner and drinks at Wes’s, yeah, I think it’s safe to say I’m ready to call it a night.”
Wait…what? Call it a night? Like, without sex?
“Good night, Cass,” he whispered and kissed me on the forehead. “Sweet dreams, honey.”
It took all of my willpower not to knee him in the dick. I mean, generally speaking, bedtime equaled sex time in the Kelly house. And when I say generally speaking, I mean every motherfluffing night of the week.
What. The. Fluff? I mean, he’d given me the Mother Fluffer today! Shouldn’t we at least be putting it to use or something?
When a few soft snores and heavy breaths started to fall from his lips, I knew my hopes of getting pussy pleasure had flown out the goddamn window.
Son of a Popsicle stick, this was not my day for orgasms. Like, not at all.
Eventually, I gave in to my no-climax reality and turned away from my husband and onto my side. I adjusted my giant pregnant belly in the process and huffed out a breath of frustration as I punched my fist into my pillow and settled myself in for a long night of sexual frustration.
“A little frustrated, Crazy?” Thatch whispered, and my eyes popped open. “Is that greedy little cunt of yours a little ticked off that Daddy isn’t giving her what she wants?”
“You’re such a bastard,” I muttered. “You’ve been awake the whole time, haven’t you?”
He chuckled softly, and next thing I knew, Thatch was moving down the bed until his big, muscular body was lying between my opened thighs. “How frustrated is she, Cass?” he asked and slid my panties to the side with one long index finger. His gaze locked on to my bared skin, and he licked his lips in approval. “She looks so greedy right now. God, she’s practically begging for my mouth, and I haven’t even done anything yet.”
“Ugh,” I groaned in annoyance.
“How frustrated, Cass?” he asked again.
“So frustrated,” I admitted. Giving in wasn’t my usual MO, but tonight, I was making an exception to my normal rules. I needed an orgasm. Hell, I probably needed two before I’d even consider calling it a night and getting some shut-eye.
He looked up at me from underneath his dark lashes, and his eyes shone with that familiar glimmer that generally said all good things were coming. Literally, coming. And without any warning, he gently licked one smooth line down my pussy and then back up again before pulling his mouth away and moaning his approval. “I fucking love the way you taste.”
I whimpered in frustration.
“More?” he asked and I nodded.
“Yes, please.”
“Think maybe you owe me an apology first?”
“Apology?” I asked in confusion. I mean, what in the flipping Hello Kitty was he talking about?
“Yeah,” he said with a smirk. “An apology for the dognapping today.”
Oh, that…
“I’m sorry I kidnapped Stan when you weren’t looking. But…” I added because let’s face it, I had a reason for the prank. In hindsight, I wouldn’t exactly say it was the best reason, but still, it was a reason nonetheless. I might’ve been crazy, but I didn’t make a point to just go around kidnapping people’s pets for the hell of it. “In my defense, you pranked me earlier today.”
He quirked a brow. “When did I prank you?”
“Uh…when you acted like Ace wasn’t with you this morning…”
Once everything clicked into place, he started chuckling in amusement. “That’s what made you sneak into the house this afternoon to steal Stan? Because of a two-minute phone conversation when I pretended not to have our son?”
“Exactly,” I stated. “You know the rules, T. Tit for tat. And, besides that, you should know better than to prank your pregnant wife.”
Thatch stared up at me with a giant grin etched across his face. “You’re literally the craziest woman I’ve ever known.”
I grinned. “And you’re literally the craziest man I’ve ever known.”
“God, I love you,” he said, and his voice turned tender. “Even when you’re trying to kill me with heart attacks before I’ve reached the age of forty by stealing animals from our home, I love the fucking hell out of you.”
“I love you, too,” I whispered. “Especially when you’re stalking me. I think I love you the most when you do romantic things like that.”
Between the prank, spending the afternoon in Chelsea with my best friend, and Thatcher tracking me down after he’d found out I’d taken the dog, today had felt like old times. It had been a good day.
And hot damn, my husband—especially his stalker tendencies—was so fluffing swoony.
“I wouldn’t say today’s stalking was motivated by romance, honey,” he said through a soft chuckle. “It had more to do with the fact that you’d, you know, kidnapped a dog and, thanks to that, I had a plan to alter.”
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t kidnap a dog.”
“Then what exactly would you call it?”
“I just happened to need to borrow a dog for the day.”
“Jesus,” he said with a laugh. “Promise me you’ll never include kidnapping in any future pranks.”
“I’ll only take that deal if you promise not to prank me while I’m pregnant.”
“Deal,” he agreed, and then his gaze moved back to the bared—and extremely horny—skin between my thighs.
“Thank you for the flowers and the Mother Fluffer,” I added, and his eyes met mine. “I still don’t know how you pulled that off, but God, it’s amazing. I’m still speechless, to be honest.”
“Anything for you, Crazy,” he whispered and I smiled.
“You’re the best, Daddy.”
“Fuck, it drives me crazy when you call me that,” he groaned and moved his gaze back to the apex of my thighs. “Is it time for a little mouth-to-pussy?”
I nodded. “It’s so time for that right now.”
“You’re so beautiful, Cass,” he whispered with his lips mere inches away from where I ached and throbbed the most.
