Page 111 of Heart of Night and Fire

This.

This was what Row had been hiding.

The darkness.

She recalled the way Suvanna had talked about it. About the vanshaj and their eternally tainted magic. Of the way Dhawan’s voice had wavered when he spoke of a time when darkness covered the world.

She, Zarya, was the evil they all feared.

It was then she knew she had to get out of here. She had to go back into hiding. There was still time to fix this. She hoped.

But, gods, she couldn’t move.

She scanned the area where she sat, finally able to see her surroundings without a screen of dust clogging her vision. It seemed she had landed on the flat roof of a building, one of the walls completely shattered.

But she wasn’t alone.

Rabin lay on the other side of the small courtyard on his back with his eyes closed and his dark hair spread around his head in a tangle.

What was he doing here?

She blinked heavily, her eyelids weighed down. It didn’t matter why he was here. She had to get away from him and this place. Summoning all of her strength, she heaved herself onto her hands and knees, her body screaming in protest.

She pushed herself up to stand, wincing at the pain that shot through her legs and arms and back. She stretched, hoping to find a pocket of relief. She hesitated, and then sighed, before she made her way over to Rabin. She should at least see if he was alive before she abandoned him.

Slowly, she approached and then fell to her knees. He was still. She couldn’t tell if he was breathing, so she leaned down, placing her ear against his heart, hearing a gentle beat. Why did that bring her such an overwhelming sense of relief? She moved, hovering close to his face, feeling for a gentle tickle of his breath.

He was alive. She stared at him, recalling the moments they’d shared, wondering which parts had been real and which had been only an illusion. When she closed her eyes, she remembered the way he’d looked at her with fire and fury and a coldness that suggested he had been so close to killing her.

She looked around, wondering how to get out of here. There was a gap in the rubble she might be able to climb through. But she couldn’t leave him like this. Could she? When she looked back, she let out a yelp of fright. His eyes were open, and he was staring up at her.

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, he sat up and shook his head.

“Are you all right?” he asked, but she was already standing up, backing away.

Whatever had happened between them, she had to let it go. A plan was already forming as she hobbled away, gritting her teeth with every step.

It had always been her intention to leave the city. Go somewhere Row would never find her. Now she needed a place no one would ever find her. She had to hide. Lock herself away again. Row had always claimed it had been for her own protection.

But now she understood he had never been protecting her.

He had been protecting everyone else from her. From the darkness. From whatever evil lived within her.

“Where are you going?” Rabin called, but she ignored him. She reached the wall, using her hands to brace herself before she heaved herself over the rough stones. Her feet were bare, her shoes having fallen off somewhere in the night, and she winced at the stabs of pain against her soles.

“Zarya!” came Rabin’s deep voice.

A rock slipped out from under her, and she screamed as the entire mountain of rubble slid. She pitched forward, rolling down with the stones until she came to a stop under a shower of pebbles.

“Fuck,” she moaned. Gods, everything hurt so much.

There was a clatter above her, and a shadow blocked out the sun. She opened her eyes to find Rabin scooping her into his arms.

Oh no. She did not want his help.

“Put me down,” she protested, shoving his chest and wriggling her legs.

“I’m not letting you out of my sight. You have things to answer for.”