Page 137 of Dance of Stars and Ashes

“Is it true?” she asked louder. “Tell me what he said was a lie!”

Hysteria clawed up her throat, threatening to drown her in a sea of simmering rage. Rabin looked down and then back at Zarya.

“What is it?” Row asked, coming to stand next to her. “What’s going on?”

Swaying on her feet, she reached for him, holding his arm to steady herself.

“Dhawan claimed he’s been with Raja Abishek all these years.” She dropped the accusation at his feet, hoping he’d kick it away.

Zarya couldn’t take her eyes off Rabin as he stared at her.

“What?” Row asked with disbelief in his voice.

“Deny it, Rabin! Tell me it isn’t true. Please tell me it isn’t true.” Her voice broke apart on the words like waves crashing into jagged rocks.

“Zarya, I was going to tell you—” he started, stepping closer.

She held out a hand, stilling him in his tracks.

“But you didn’t. You lied to me! Just like all of them. You’re the same as everyone else! You found me, and you wanted to use me!”

“Zarya, no,” he said, his deep voice vibrating through her chest. “That’s not what it was. I swear to you, I had no idea who you were until Row revealed the truth. That isn’t why I sought you out. That isn’t why I came here.”

She closed her eyes, swaying dangerously on legs like rubber, clinging to Row as a jagged slash ripped through her chest.

When she spoke, her voice was as raw as broken glass.

“I gave myself to you, body and soul. I told you the hardest thing to stomach was the lies, and you sat there, and you listened to me, and you said nothing. You let me believe you cared about me.” She dragged in a shaky breath.

Rabin’s gaze turned fierce, the gold flecks in his eyes burning like falling embers.

“I meant every single thing I said, Zarya,” he said, sinking to his knees. “It was all real. Nothing about what I feel for you is a lie. I didn’t tell Abishek about you, and I wouldn’t have, not until you were ready. I’d never do anything to hurt you. You’re wrong about him.”

She shook her head, tears clogging the back of her throat.

“You hurt me, Rabin. Hurt me more than all of the other lies combined. I trusted you. I believed in you. In us. I thought—” Zarya broke off, pain shearing her heart, crushing the words to ash in her mouth. “You promised not to break my heart!”

“Don’t do this. Let me explain, please. Zarya, please, I’m falling in l—”

“No!” Zarya shouted so loud it practically shook the crystal chandeliers as she choked on great hiccupping sobs. “Don’t you dare say that. Don’t make this even worse. You have no right to say that to me!”

Rabin rose to his feet, moving closer to her. “Tell me what I can do to fix this, Spitfire. I will do anything.”

Steely resolve settled in his jaw, but Rabin’s unwavering confidence wouldn’t work for him this time. She was too broken to even look at him—this wound cut too deep, where light couldn’t reach.

She shook her head. “I can’t trust you. Leave. I don’t want to see you ever again.”

Rabin’s jaw turned to stone as he stood before her, not moving, refusing to accept her words.

“Get out!” Zarya screamed at him, feeling herself boil over, her skin hot, her blood molten in her veins.

It was then that Rabin’s expression finally shattered, his shoulders collapsing and his posture curving into defeat.

“Very well,” he said. “If that’s what you want.”

Zarya’s heart cleaved in two as he turned and strode out of the room, the bruise on her lungs so heavy her breath stopped.

Silence followed his retreating footsteps as Koura guided Zarya back to the floor and began to heal her again. She turned on her side and sobbed into her arms as Row gently rubbed her back.