Page 26 of Fate of the Sun King

Zerra, there will be no living with him after this.

“It did,” I say, noticing Tristan on the other side of the clearing, practicing his forest magic on a group of trees, pointedly ignoring the two of us.

“He got all weird when you threw yourself at me,” Nadir says, and I whip around to face him.

“I did not throw myself… Oh, shut up,” I finish when I catch the smug look on his face.

I storm away, but he grabs my arm and pulls me towards him.

“Lor, stop this.”

“Stop what?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” he says. He moves closer, a bare sliver of space compressing between us.

I lick my lips and swallow the scratch in my suddenly dry throat. A quick check across the clearing shows Tristan is still ignoring us.

“I don’t,” I say, forcing the lie from my mouth. It tastes like ashes. “Please,” I add, not entirely sure what I’m asking for. More space. More time. More distance to sort out the muddle of thoughts in my head.

Nadir’s expression softens.

“What do you need, Lor?” Something about how he asks the question tightens the space behind my ribs. What do I need?

“A friend.”

The words slip out. I hadn’t really meant to say that, but as they land, I understand this feels right.

Nadir pauses only for a heartbeat before he nods. “I can do that.”

Our gazes linger, and that feeling under my skin stirs, along with everything else that always reacts in his presence. I know he isn’t just my friend. That’s only one oversimplified layer of who we are to each other, but I’m not ready to explore the others yet.

It’s hard to explain how much my previous experiences have twisted everything that has come after. My perspective. My relationships. My ability to trust.

Maybe it won’t always be this way, but it was only a few months ago when I truly believed I’d die in Nostraza. When every day was a misery and surviving another sunrise became a reoccurring miracle. When I did unthinkable things to survive. Things that I want to forget but that will forever live in the stitched fabric of my soul.

I was a child when I was taken. I’ve lived so little. I’m not ready to plunge into whatever this will mean if Nadir and I continue on this path.

I want to get there. I think. But I need more time.

“Thank you,” I finally say, and his jaw tenses before he lets go of my arm and steps away.

He turns towards Tristan, who’s still pretending neither of us exists. Given his feelings about Nadir, I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to interfere.

The prince and I watch Tristan use both forms of his magic, twisting them together as they spin through the air. He’s obviously reveling in this ability to finally explore what he’s capable of.

I smile at my brother as a tear slips from the corner of my eye. We haven’t had much opportunity to talk about how we’re all dealing with our respective releases from Nostraza, but I know it’s affecting him in similar ways. None of us can escape that past.

“C’mon,” Nadir says after a minute. “Let’s try again. I know you can do this.”

Over the next few hours, Nadir continues to force me to use my magic until it’s starting to feel more natural. Almost. While I can drive it to the surface if I concentrate hard enough, it still isn’t the extension of me that I remember from my childhood.

In those days, it was easy and natural. It’s almost there, but it’s blocked, trickling out instead of flowing freely, all because of that door I can’t force open. I sense more pressing up against it, but this is all I can manage.

Still, it’s better than nothing. And I have Nadir to thank for all of it.

Once we’ve all had enough, the sun is starting to set.

“We made excellent progress today,” Nadir says, a hint of pride in his voice. “You did good, Lor.”