Page 66 of Fate of the Sun King

“So you didn’t tell him about us,” I say, frustration and relief curdling in my stomach. If it wasn’t Cedar, then who was it?

“I would never have told anyone. I swear it,” he says solemnly, and despite everything, I believe him. “Tell who?”

Now I exchange a glance with Nadir, who nods his assent.

“The Aurora King,” I say, my voice wooden. No matter how many years pass, those words will always catch in my throat like choking down the thorny stem of a rose.

Cedar lets out a whoosh of air, sitting back in his chair as he runs a hand over the top of his head, fitting the various pieces together.

“So he wanted to use you or keep you contained?”

I nod. “Very much.”

“Which is it?”

“I’m not completely sure, but all signs point to using me for something.”

The king and queen consider that for a moment, their expressions puzzled.

“Is that why you’re in your human form?” Cedar looks me up and down.

“You know about that?” Tristan asks, and Cedar nods.

“Yes. Your mother showed me once to prove you were all safe without us checking in on you.”

“It’s partly why I am,” I say, not interested in divulging the truth about my trapped magic until I’m sure we can trust them.

“But that was years ago. Where have you been all this time?” Elswyth asks, her voice soft with concern. “What happened to you?”

I hate this story. I hate having to relive it over and over, like pouring salt and lemon over an open scab. A well of tears burns my eyes. I used to be a master at holding them back and pretending they didn’t exist.

Tristan rescues me from having to shoulder this burden and describes our years in Nostraza. As he speaks, I feel the pain and the heartache of those days knife into my chest like it happened only yesterday. I keep trying to shove it down. Pretend none of it existed, but I know that’s impossible. Eventually, I must confront all the ugly truths I’ve been avoiding. Eventually, I must look in the mirror and decide if those years will finally break me or make me.

After Tristan finishes, we all fall silent.

“I’m so sorry,” Cedar says. “I wish I had known.”

“What would you have done?” Tristan asks with a thread of accusation in his voice.

“Everything I could,” Cedar replies with conviction, and I want to believe that’s true. He seems genuine, but I know how gifted Imperial Fae are at lying to suit their own ends.

“What about the rest of you? Where is your sister?” Elswyth asks. “There were three children, weren’t there?”

“She’s somewhere else right now,” I say. “But she’s fine. Or as fine as she can be, all things considered.”

“That’s good.” The queen nods. “I can’t help but feel like we met somewhere before now,” Elswyth says to me next.

“The Sun Queen Ball. You look just like one of the Tributes.”

Of course, I didn’t just attend that ball. I became the center of attention when Atlas lost his shit on Nadir.

“And you…” Elswyth points to Nadir. “Atlas threw you out and banished you. That was quite a stir.”

“I actually thought you’d banish me too,” Nadir admits, and Cedar snorts.

“Atlas can throw all the temper tantrums he wants. That doesn’t mean I’m going to indulge them.”

“I thought you were friends,” I say. “That’s what he told me.”