Page 106 of Tale of the Heart Queen

She’s talking a mile a minute as Marici comes up beside her, and I hug her next.

“I’m back,” I say. “And I took a little detour after I spoke with the Mirror.” That’s a mild understatement.

“Spoke with the Mirror?” Halo asks. “What does that mean?”

I blow out a breath. “I said I couldn’t tell you everything before, but it’s probably safe enough now.” I scan our cluttered surroundings. “But maybe not here? We’ll be leaving again soon, but I’d like the chance to talk.”

“Of course,” Marici says. “In the meantime, we came to see what help we could offer.”

I look at them as tears burn the backs of my eyes.

They were my first two friends outside of Willow and Tristan. I reach out to grip their hands as a wave of melancholy washes over me. Why does it feel like this might be the first of many goodbyes?

“Did I ever thank you for being so nice to me during the Trials?”

They both exchange an uncertain look.

“We weren’t, though,” Halo says. “We were awful to you.”

“You came around,” I say.

“We don’t deserve your thank-you. We should have been nicer to you from the beginning and never listened to that horrid . . .” she trails off, biting her tongue.

Like it or not, Apricia is still set to become her queen. Or is she?

“What happens to you now?” I ask. “With Tyr back?”

“I’m not sure,” Halo says. “We’re all kind of in limbo. I doubt he wants . . .”

“Yeah,” I say. Tyr doesn’t really seem to be in a mindset to bond to Apricia or run a kingdom.

“Anyway,” Marici says. “What can we do?”

I set them to work and then return to my patient’s bedside.

A while later, a heavy hand lands on my shoulder, and I look up to see Gabriel standing over me. His skin is pale, and the circles under his eyes are dark with worry.

“How is it out there?” I ask.

He shakes his head, disbelief written into every line of his face.

“Is this the thing you told us about? The magic?”

“Yeah,” I reply. “I think so.”

He sighs, rubs a hand along the back of his neck, and rolls his shoulders. “So there’s no controlling this.”

“Not yet,” I say. “But I’m trying to figure this out.”

“By replacing Zerra?”

“No,” I say. “I am not doing that. I’ll find another way.”

He gives me a skeptical look, and guilt twists in my chest. I should want to do this for the good of Ouranos, shouldn’t I? Am I being selfish? If it can only be another ruler or Primary, then why is my fight to remain free any more important than theirs?

Part of me doesn’t care. Ouranos has never done anything for me or my family. Everyone sat by and let Rion torment us for over a decade, and then when I was finally released, I was thrust into a contest that nearly killed me. Everyone in Ouranos is trying to use me for their own ends. But that also isn’t fair to the innocent people who’ve had nothing to do with any of this. It also isn’t fair to the people of Heart—the only ones I truly need to be loyal to—if they lose everything.

“I’ll find another way,” I repeat, hoping that’s true.