Page 162 of Tale of the Heart Queen

Amya sobs and another tear drifts down my mother’s cheek.

“Thank you,” my mother says. “I know . . . I know I haven’t said much, but I’ve appreciated every day you’ve visited me. Neither of you had to do that. Neither of you owed me that. Not after how I let you down. But know that every time you’ve come to see me, I’ve been so proud that you both turned out the way you did.”

My chest aches, a heavy knot tying up my ribs. I wrap my arms around both of them, and we hug for a long time. My eyes burn with so many unshed tears, and when I can’t hold on any longer, one falls, landing on my mother’s dress, where the fabric darkens. I stare at it, contemplating the entirety of my existence in that one spot.

We hang on a little longer, and then we pull apart.

Amya is hiccupping, her eyes bloodshot and makeup running down her cheeks. She wipes at her tears, and my sister looks different. She, too, looks lighter.

“Mother, we’re going after him tomorrow,” I say.

“After you bond to your mate,” she says, covering my hands with hers. “I understand. I hope she takes good care of you, Nadir. You deserve that after caring for me for all these years. You deserve everything.”

I smile and tuck a lock of hair behind her ear.

“No one will take better care of me than Lor,” I say. “No one would dare cross her.”

“Then she sounds perfect for you.”

I touch her cheek, running my thumb along the bone.

“I am ready to go,” she says. “I’ve been ready for a long time.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll see you someday,” she whispers. “I hope. And I’ll miss you, too,” she says. “More than you can ever know.”

I press a kiss on her cheek and then pull away.

“Goodbye, Mother.”

“Goodbye,” she whispers, “my children.”

Then Amya and I turn to leave.

As the door closes behind me, I feel so many things I can’t begin to put into words. As children, we’re taught to believe that good will win over evil. That there is always sun after the storm. But those are fairytales meant to keep us warm.

I couldn’t free my mother from this pain while she lived. There will be no justice for her in this life, but I have to believe that once she crosses over, she will be at peace, and only my father will feel the retribution of his sins. Inside this Keep, evil has won out over and over, but this story isn’t quite finished yet.

“I wish we could have had more time,” Amya says, looking at me. “Why couldn’t we have had her like that? Why did she talk to us now?”

Still holding the handle, I allow my head to drop against the door. Taking in a deep breath, I blow it out slowly before I look at Amya. “I don’t think that was who she is anymore, and I suppose she understood this was the end, too.”

Amya folds her arms and scrubs a hand across her cheek. “I guess.”

“She found the strength she could never offer us and gave us that last moment at least. Now we can remember her this way.”

“Yeah.” She nods, and we share a look.

Then I reach out and take her hand before my sister and I walk away from our mother for the very last time.

CHAPTER 57

LOR

That night, I dream of Nadir in the Aurora Keep throne room. He sits with a sword, the point digging into the ground and his hand gripped around the hilt. He wears a pair of fitted black pants and nothing on top, the bright swirls of his tattoos illuminating the dark.

I tiptoe across the cold tiles, wearing the nightgown I fell asleep in. As I approach, I stop, contemplating the lines of his face. The arch of his brows and the curves of his lips. The inky pools of his eyes reflecting with flashes of violet and emerald. My gaze travels over the contours of his stomach and his chest, the aurora borealis from outside gilding him in bursts of color.