Page 25 of Tale of the Heart Queen

Tears fill my eyes. I don’t have to pretend any of this.

“Liar,” D’Arcy says. “If your mate were dead, it wouldn’t be possible to have this conversation with us.”

I blink at her words. “What does that mean?”

“I mean, if your mate had died, you’d be a broken mess of nothing.” She pins me with an unsettling look, dark remorse flitting across her expression. “Believe me. I know what it’s like.”

I’m so thrown off that it takes me a moment to process what she’s saying.

“You lost your mate,” I say.

My words come out strangled because I know. I know what she means. I feel this cavernous space in my chest where Nadir has been carved out of me.

D’Arcy tips her chin, and Bronte and Cyan exchange a look. Something tells me this isn’t information she offers up willingly or often. “It was a long time ago. But yes, I did.”

I remember Nadir telling me she’s had seven different partners, and I wonder if that’s how she’s filled the void of losing her mate.

But now they’re all looking at me curiously, and I’ve just been caught in yet another lie.

My eyes narrow, and I lift my chin, trying to salvage this. “Perhaps some of us are just stronger.” I issue the words as a challenge, hoping to force her to back down, but I’m dealing with an ancient queen who radiates power. She scoffs, and something about that raises my ire.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she says, hissing at me. “This isn’t about what you can and cannot endure. When someone’s mate dies, the one left behind succumbs to the worst sickness you can possibly imagine. Pain and agony like you can’t even comprehend. I spent months screaming and wailing, wishing to die. There are entire weeks of blackness I don’t even remember, my mind and body were so broken. It took years to fully heal, and even now, centuries later, I will never be the same.”

She’s leaning towards me now, her cool demeanor siphoned into a rigid slab of steel. “So do not presume to turn your nose up at me, thinking you’re somehow immune to the worst fate a Fae can endure, girl.”

The way she twists the last word tells me I’ve yet to earn her respect, and while I want to snap back at her, I decide that sometimes I can take the higher road. It’s clear I’ve just scratched open a festering wound with my carelessness. But then another thought occurs to me. If I’m okay, then does that mean Nadir is actually . . . alive? A light tweaks in my chest.

“What? What is that?” Bronte asks, far too observant for my liking. “Why are you suddenly happy?”

“I’m not,” I say defensively, trying to smooth my face into a different expression.

“You’re keeping many things from us,” Cyan says. “First your magic, and now this.”

“What about her magic?” D’Arcy asks, her voice sharp as a needle.

“Nothing. My magic is fine,” I say.

At the same moment Cyan declares, “She has no control over it.”

My face heats as both women’s gazes turn to me, fire burning in their eyes.

“Why don’t you have control over your magic?” Bronte demands. “And why are you lying to us about your mate?”

The wheels in my head accelerate into high gear as I attempt to devise a plausible explanation for any of this. The truth is, I don’t have one.

“I can’t tell you,” I say, and that is sort of the truth.

“Can’t or won’t?” Cyan asks.

“Does it matter?” I ask. “Know that I’m not here to cause you any harm. Atlas tried to bond with me and use my magic, and the Aurora King is after me for some reason I’ve never understood. All I know is I need to keep out of their way and try to get back to what’s left of my family.”

The words flow out of me in a rush, and I hope it’s enough to convince them to let this go, even if they don’t entirely trust me. It’s not a complete lie. I don’t mean them any direct harm, but I very much intend to steal from the king, who’s staring at me as though he’s trying to figure out what to make of me. Maybe it’s wrong, and maybe I’m a terrible person for putting my needs and desires ahead of his, but if it comes down to some stupid piece of rock or Nadir, I won’t hesitate to make that choice.

“I suppose not,” Cyan eventually says. “But you understand I can’t just let you walk out of here?”

“Why not?” I croak.

“Because you’ve been lying to me, Heart Queen. And I want to know why.”